hattigrace

Sad

2009-12-09T23:18:00.000-08:00

I lost my mother in 2000. October 5, 2000. I wanted everyone to remember that date. To call me and commiserate. They did not. I learned that people just don't remember what does not hurt them personally.

I have never really gotten over losing her. I don't cry often. But my heart aches for her. I want to hear her voice. Part of my solice was my mother in law.

Bebop. Mother of twelve. Grandmother of sixty. YES, sixty. I lost count how many regular granchildren and how many great grandchildren. Does it really matter?

More, what matters is they all want to be with her. If they drive home from college, she is on the top five most important stops.

She prays. She laughs. She cooks. She bakes. She tells cute jokes. She listens. She listens. And she loves, loves, loves, loves all her family. She has been our matriarch, our rock, our gatherer, our joy, our strength.

We just found out the severe pain that has reduced her to tears for three months is cancer in her spine. The doctors give her six months. She is 81 1/2. Otherwise so healthy.

She walks, takes vitamins, eats healthy, gets her rest, works, loves and gives. She prays, plays and is totally amazing. WHY WHY WHY????????

It is sad, sad, so very sad news we all face. She has taught me so much. Like the most important thing in life is having babies and LOVING them. Being present in the moment, being WITH them.

Because of her, I have seven godchildren. I would have stopped at one (Ally), if it had not been for her. But she showed me that a woman can deeply love many children. So, I have seven-

Ally, 14

Billy, 10

Debbie, 7

Abigail, 6

Isabella, 4

Laura Sophia, 3

Nicholas, 5 months

And, I have two grand children, Sheraya, nearly 14 and Lana, 8. I await children from my daughter Eliana. And I don't know what technical relationship I will have with Benjamin, the son of my assistant and dear friend.

I pray that who Bebop is will morph through me so that all these children will know a love that will bolster them through all the hours of their lives.

I LOVE YOU BEBOP, Elizabetta, Grande Dame of La Bella Leonessi.

Color Dilema

2009-10-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

Dot told me my color was faded out and I needed some depth. First photo on left.

I agreed. So I did my color. In a hurry, as usual. I don't quite get why I won't ask for help. The center photo is after I applied a root formula, an ends formula and had Dot put in some foils that went way too light, so then I did a golden glaze over the whole "mess". Actually, in the center photo, it looks good. That night, at Bonefish with Dot and Hub and TT, I did think I was happening.

However, the next day, as I was out running errands, I saw everyone look at my color and quickly look away. Yeah, it was hideous. Grabby ends with odd tones, way too dark at temples. All that does not show in thephoto taken in the gentle lighting of candles.

We had an event that night, so I tied up those grabby ends and had a martini (or five) and forgot about it.

But yesterday, I had to face it. I returned to the salon and refoiled my hair. Did a little trick called a "soap cap" on the ends and degrabbed them. It's not a good photo, for a couple of reasons. Poor lighting and I was sick. Why? I broke out in hives after I did my color. I had bleach bubbles all over my neck and arms bc I was doing the shampoo myself. (Hint- have a STYLIST do your color!!!) So, in this pic, I am still swollen and pale.

For now, I am reasonably happy with my hair. I realized I am NOT a brunette at heart. Oi.

I am back

2009-09-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

I have been gone for a long time.

I got busy. Busy with family, my godchildren, work, and friends. You can't fault me, right?

The mother of my two god-children was reunited with her husband and they had a baby in July. I am so happy to have him in my arms.

In the last year, I began a sorority. Not in the crazy college way, but a sisterhood of likeminded women, from the age of 24 to 64. There are nine of us. We are committed to each other through our committment to the Lord. Bound to loyalty and being a place of safety.

It has been an amazing year. Kept me too busy to be out here. Not because I did not care about any of you, but simply busy.

We have done a lot of work on our house. Now I am starting to love the outside the way I love the inside!

My daughter and I have gone gluten free. Big change. She is an amazing cook. But more, her baked goods are out of this world. And all gluten free. I am encouraging her to begin a baking blog. When she gets it up, I will let you all know about it!

I hope each of you are doing well. I have missed you. Spend a lot of time on FaceBook. But no place like Blogspot.

Love n hugs,

Hattigrace

I completed something!

2008-12-13T22:33:00.000-08:00

Dot ran her marathon.

I actually completed a class.

The self-portrait is my final project for Drawing One class at PJC.

She had made mention a couple years ago about how I start ideas/projects/ambitions and then talk myself out of them. I hate it when she is right about my weaknesses and failings. She most likely would not like me to list out hers, either.

I have wanted to draw and paint for years. I started about 18 months ago. I stopped listening to my negative, devilish voices and had an epiphany that if God gives us the desires of our hearts, then I should trust He would supply the talent.

The doors have opened ever since. Art Party Girl has been incredible, opening up her home and sharing her talent over and over. Gardenia has been another patient teacher and encourager. And Dot and TT have been consistant cheerleaders as I have nailed painting after painting up in our gallery/dining room.

Taking Drawing One was a huge step of faith. I had to overcome that fear of walking into a world of strangers - the college scene. I will never forget the first day, trembling inside as I stammered my way into a class of silent 18 and 19 year olds, scurrying around to find a seat and surfing on my CrackBerry to cover my intense insecurity.

I thought Teach was from another planet- one of granola and great art and no use for a preening middle-aged hairstylist. Judge not. Will I ever learn?!

Who would know that slowly Teach and I would begin sharing. First words, then hearts. She and I had more in common than a dozen of my clients put together. She is a deep and caring and intensely talented woman. She did not wield a sword and cut me with the cruel critisizm I feared.

She is honest, but kindly so. Vulnerable with dignity. Giving, with boundaries. The day she asked me to join her in sidewalk art, I was giddy with joy. I could learn so much from her. And she has a great sense of humor.

Okay, back to Dot's assessments of me. I have FINISHED the class!! The only classes I missed were because I was out of town for our family Thanksgiving trip and attending Dot's marathon. I did not wimp out, withdraw, or withhold. I did every assignment and gave it my all. My all was not the top of the chart of the talent of the class, but it was all that I had.

And somehow, miraculously, Teach has offered to mentor me, one-on-one in portraits next semester, in exchange for my hair services! OMG!!!! Can you believe THAT?? The desire of my heart has come true. I am really going to be taught how to paint faces! And the crazy thing is, we are going to paint together in my gallery!!!!

I feel like the brat of all spoiled brats. I get to learn, in my own home, the very thing that I love.

I will let you know my class grade!

Marathon

2008-12-06T19:43:00.000-08:00

Dot started when she turned 29 thinking of all the things she said she was gonna do "someday" and decided she wanted "someday" to come before she turned 30.

She began taking French classes at our local Junior College. And she determined she wanted to get into shape.

She began working out at the YMCA daily. She got very bored walking on the treadmill and wondered what it would be like to run. A perky song came on her iPod and she thought she would try to run one song.

One day, several songs in a row inspired running and she looked down to discover for the first time in her life, she had run a full mile!

That was the beginning.

November 30, she completed the Space Coast Marathon at Cocoa Beach, Florida with her father, husband, sister, neices, mama and Isabella all cheering her on.

I am in awe of her accomplishment. And a bit green. (Drat my weakened back !!) She had her share of setbacks. A knee injury. Lots of economic issues. But she kept on. And on.

I worry about her body. I have too many friends that were runners in their youth that have horrible knee and feet problems. I hope she tapers to body-friendly distances.

I can understand why she wanted to complete a marathon. Just like why she wanted to walk on fire. Does a body and soul good to know an overcomer is in there.

costly

2008-11-23T15:59:00.000-08:00

A relative of mine just started Frugal and Happy blog . Reading her posts made me think back to when I got my Isabella.

My heart was breaking because I had to give Dot back her cat and TT and I would have no pets to complete our home. Life is too serious without the diversion of pets and children whose daily dailies of feeding, pottying, bathing, playing, teaching and snuggling bring so many moments of silly joy.

I had to take into account our allergies and that TT is not going to take anyone for a run around the neighborhood for exercise! My search for the perfect pet was soon narrowed to Bichons, Poodles or ShihTzus.

I wanted a teeny dog, a little baby that I could easily scoop up without straining my back, a traveling companion. I spent a lot of time on the internet, searching for her.

My friends, who knew I had had several failed relationships with dogs, thought I had lost my mind! I secretly did too! I faced that I had gotten past dogs for the wrong reasons.

Good thing all this started two years ago before the financial world was collapsing! Isabella was crazy expensive. Then she needed the $1000 eye surgery within one month. And there were several expensive follow up appointments.

She was so tiny it was sobering. Remember she weighed only one pound and two ounces the day we brought her home. I looked up to the Lord who had made her and vowed to nurture her and care for her as I never had any other dog. I made her needs mine, instead of the other way around. I wanted to assure her, every moment that she was in a safe place of love.

The result? As I write, she is asleep in my lap. She loves me and TT and is an absolute joy. She understands nearly everything I say to her. Of course, she does not always listen!! She is two years old, so that means she is a forteen year old! Hahaha!!

I would eat beans and crackers so that she would have her food, if neccessary. In other people's minds, I suppose she was a huge waste of money. But, to TT and I, we don't even remember writing the check!

Family

2008-10-23T19:18:00.000-07:00

A devoted loving husband,
a daughter that has loved me through it all
and her dear husband.
I am blessed.

God-daughter's birthday

2008-10-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

What can I say, I just love them. They are my heart. I can only go about three days without seeing them.

Hmmmmmm

2008-10-23T18:06:00.000-07:00

I saw Dot online, reading my blog today. I came home from work and read back a few months.

I go through fits and jerks about writing. I saw again what a record of my life this blog has been. Kind of lets me get my true feelings out there in a non-threatening way.

I have been very concerned for the future of our nation. I think we have extremely turbulent times ahead. Like none my generation has ever seen. My husband said it best, "I feel like a frog in a pot of water that is coming to a boil."

Then the words of my priest come to mind, "Sometimes we have to compromise our expectations so we can get happy with our reality." I have read the end of the Book. We are not without hope or help. This place called Earth is not our final destination. We pass through this part of our journey, to come to Christ and to be carried to Paradise, with Him.

There, we will finally be free of all the guile, lies and hatred that sin and sin's effects have sludged over this world. He will rule, King of Kings, with purity and holiness. We will never wonder if His words are truthful, if He is really looking out for us, if we will be safe and protected.

Many pilgrims have gone before us and suffered loss of dreams and loss of life. But they are with Him, as we will be.

I have stopped the fight. I will pray until the election is over for the Holy Spirit to guide the hearts of everyone who votes to vote for culture of life. But I had to stop hanging on every word in the news and emails. It was sapping my energy.

I still need to work. I need to have cheerful topics of conversation with my clients. I need to seek the joy of each day.

I started walking 3.3 miles (in 50 minutes) outside about four to five days a week. It is helping to whittle my middle!! And it gives me a lot of energy.

I am loving my Drawing One class and will be taking a painting class on Saturday mornings. Plus, I am working through the book, "Drawing on the Right Side of Your Brain".

I am having fun planning the holidays with our two girls and two granddaughters. And with the god-children family, there are countless birthdays and other reasons to celebrate!

So, there is a catch up. I will try to be more regular of a blogger!

Hello, my long lost blogger friends!

Vote from your heart

2008-10-11T11:10:00.000-07:00

My Assistant

2008-09-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

"Stop Hattigrace, I can't take it anymore!! I QUIT!!!!"

I found this this photo of my assistant and decided I had to write a post about her. I haven't a clue why she was hiding her beautiful face from my curious camera, so I just made up that silly caption.

Many years ago, Dot told me my health insurance was having an assistant. When I thought in terms of preserving my health, the weekly paycheck to my assistant became a reasonable business expense.

A is my third assistant. I really did not know how to function with one past heaving glorious sighs of relief over not having to further damage my back shampooing. I am sure I made plenty of detrimental errors with my first two.

A had told me, when she was the salon receptionist, that if she ever attended cosmetology school she would want to assist me. Hmmm, that was a first. After an amazing string of events, there she was, nervously awaiting my first client of the week to shampoo.

Uh, I forgot how LONG it takes new people to shampoo! I count on about five minutes, and she was futzing around for about ten. I hadn't factored that into my schedule! We made it through the first awkward days that became less strained with each week. Though to an outsider her job might appear simple, OMG, it is NOT!

The endless details of information, knowledge, intuitiveness, diplomacy, timing, and skill to effectively assist are staggering. She is a fast and eager learner. She understood my idea of three minutes (two minutes and forty-five seconds)! She rarely sat down, talked on her cell phone or got to work late.

The one area that was the most difficult was her timidity and shyness. I began Assertiveness 101 with her! I never forced her to make any calls she was uncomfortable with. I told her what needed to be said and gave her the option of me doing it instead of her. Courageously, she would take a deep breath and with a white face and shaking hands, make the call.

She discovered that people respond well to direct, honest communication delivered with a sincere desire to serve their needs. I run a tight ship. I am rarely late. If I am, it is very disconcerting to me as I loathe to disrespect people's time. That is what I give and that is what I expect from my clients.

I once complimented a client for her consistent promptness and she said, "It's because we are all afraid of you Hattigrace!!" I'm not mean. I just expect women to keep their commitments. A learned it was okay to tell people that. They appreciate it.

Well, good things can backfire. One day, I asked A if she would split a sandwich with me from one of our favorite lunch providers. "No, I want a whole one", she stated as she walked down the hall. I turned to my client and said, "Did you hear that? A year ago, she would have let me have my way!!!" We joke that I overdid Assertiveness Training!

One of the most fun things we do is talking about our evil twin sisters. Hers is Agatha and mine is Helga. Whenever we are not behaving up to par, we will chide our evil twin for causing us trouble. When our hours are long and we are tired we will look at each other and say, "That's it! We don't like our boss anymore. She works us too hard. WE QUIT!" Our clients will say, "Who is your boss?" and we say, "Helga and Agatha!" We both have found a great release in being able to humorously let off a little steam!

We are both so humungously grateful for being so busy. Our goal is to never say no to anyone and to trust that somehow, by God's great grace, that it will all work out and every body's needs will be met. And usually, it does!

We have been together for three years now. That is unheard of. I never dreamed (I am pinching myself) I would have the pleasure of her company for this long. I know all good things have to come to an end so I live gratefully and don't worry about when she has to move on. God will take care of me and my business.

I love so many things about her. She is honest, true blue and faithful as the day is long. Hardworking, rarely complains, sincere, insightful, non-intrusive, calming, humorous, intuitive, organized, cheerful, ASSERTIVE!, quick-witted, respectful, teachable, loving, empathetic, adaptable, flexible, inventive, kind, tenderhearted. . . She undergirds me with all these virtues. We have a wonderful friendship.

All the above is punctuated with her finest treasure and that is her love for the Lord Jesus Christ. I know she prays for me, for TT, for Dot n hub, for Jade and girls. We have the three-fold cord of friendship, work and faith. And you know those cords are not easily broken. How deeply I have been blessed.

I love you A.

Waiting for Gustav

2008-08-31T21:33:00.000-07:00

God-son's birthday was this weekend. He had three celebrations. Family dinner Wednesday night. Friend and family party at our house 3:00 Saturday. And church friends today at lunch.

It is a restless, tenative time waiting for hurricanes, even though not in the direct path. We know rough weather is ahead. All the churning highs and lows and rain and wind can be full of surprises. Look at Fay. She was very unpredictable.

TT and I have gassed up, bought bottled water, canned food, citronella and wicks for our torches (in case we lose power and have a lot of porch time!)batteries and the lot. Our house is clean, clothes laundered. Oooooh, I just remembered I need to bathe Isabella! We are READY! Because Gustav is not thundering to our doorstep directly, we don't need to board up.

What to do while we wait? God-childrens auntee, S, called and said, "Hub, daughter and I are going to the beach. Meet us there!" It was so much fun. God-children and their parents came, too. We had lovely family time skipping ahead of the tide in the balmy wind.

Gustav seems to have calmed a bit. At least he is not the raging 150 mph beast that he was on Saturday. May God answer the millions of prayers for mercy and continue to calm him to a puff of smoke by the time he reaches land in the morning.

My heart extends to New Orleans and all those temporarily displaced by his threats.

Twenty-Fourth Anniversery

2008-08-21T18:45:00.000-07:00

After Dot's big birthday bash, TT n I simply had a fabby dinner out at Bonefish to celebrate our 24th Anniversery.

I texted our girls, "24 yrs ago rt now, we were all getting ready 2 walk down the isle 2gether. Thankful 4 th grace of God 2 hold, 2 keep n 2 heal. We love u so."

One responded, "Now don't go making me cry! That's not fair! (143)" and the other, "LOL! U guys r just as sweet as the day u me!"

We are so happy. We have each other. We have our Lord Jesus and are at home in the Catholic Church. We have our two beloved daughters, one wonderful son-in-law and two precious granddaughters. We have our god children and their entire family as close friends. We have rekindled fellowship with DayBreak and Gee. I have my art. We have dear Isabella. And we both have our siblings/families. I have a fabulous career that nurtures my soul and provides our needs. We are at peace with each other. There was a lot to celebrate on Monday nite, August 18!!

(And my hair is g*r*o*w*i*n*g longer!!!)

So TT had the filet, I had the BangBang Shrimp and four martinis!!

!!!C*E*L*E*B*R*A*T*E!!!

Dot's Three Ohhh Birthday!

2008-08-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

At 12:02 a.m. August 8, 2008, I get a text from Dot.

"Dang, 30 feels wierd. . ."

She really was not 30 yet, because she was born 12:29 a.m. We talked until she was 30 and 15 minutes. That meant a lot to me to get to share that milestone moment with her. Hmmm, it really feels wierd that my baby is 30. Eeeeek!

We began her party Friday with a surprise lunch! Jade flew in earlier than Dot knew and Assistant and Friend took off from work. It was relaxing and fun, just the five of us, nibbling, sipping and giggling!

Saturday, Jade and I went into work mode, cranking out the requested food items, picking up flowers and doing the million other things on our list. We work well together. Assistant and Friend prepared other parts of the night's menu, brought ice and beverage parts. Though a lot of work in all, it really came together peacefully.

I did Jade's hair with a wave iron. Turned out gorgeous! I had braided Dot's hair the night before her birthday, so it had two days to dry into her lovely waves. Those two styles were as close as we were willing to get to the scrunched perms of the Eighties!

My tribute to that decade was the banana clip I found on Ebay and my very heavy blush! Funny.

Dot arrived on the back of Hubby's motorcycle in one short, hot litttle black dress! She would later take me in the back and safety pin mine about six inches shorter!

We had a wall of her childhood photos and an 80's memorabilia book, 80's music and a slap bracelet from Assistant to help us all time travel!

Son-in-Law masterminded an art station with acrylic paints and a huge canvas so we could all literally leave a handprint for her birthday. It turned into quite a piece of abstract art. He also installed the disco ball and other fabulous lighting.

The best part of the weekend was being together as family and close friends, celebrating the grace of God in life and in His restoring love.

PS The parents of my god-children are in the process of reconciling. It is a beautiful thing. He is a godly man who is going through a beautiful reformation. God pours out His grace on the humble. What people miss in thinking they don't need Him and are so good on their own. Seeing them happily together was the exclamation point on the night.

Hattigrace's Art

2008-07-19T15:07:00.001-07:00

Vacation

2008-07-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

We had a fabulous family time. The Fourth of July party was a rip-roaring success. We drove to Lakeland to attend the Florida Outpouring Revival with almost the whole family. I got to paint a little bit with DayBreak.

It really worked for me to fly there. My back was a lot happier for not being in the car a total of sixteen hours.

What did you all do for the Fourth?

July 4th

2008-07-02T17:49:00.000-07:00

We are heading out tomorrow with Dot, dog and a sad heart because Dot's husband cannot come with us to Orlando to stay with Jade n visit with Daybreak.

I am full of expectancy that God has a plan for this trip, bigger than we can know. I am so grateful for how He has healed our family.

Big news. . . my friend and I have had two really great talks and I feel we are well on our way into a new road in our journey. So glad, cause I always loved her.

Have a Happy Fourth, y'all!!

Eternity

2008-06-22T12:57:00.001-07:00

The true power behind love.

The Ramp Hamilton Alabama - Drama Vida Extrema Podcast

2008-06-22T12:19:00.001-07:00

Exhilarating.

The Lord's Generation

2008-06-22T11:56:00.001-07:00

DayBreak, Jade and I are going through something awesome together. "If one can put a thousand to flight, two can put ten thousand to flight and a triple braided cord is not easily broken." Our prayer cord is producing a fire in each of our hearts for the Lord. . .

vanity

2008-06-21T23:36:00.000-07:00

I know this is really vain, but I actually like this photo of me! I love hats and this was a very happy night. TT n I went out to a beach balcony piano bar for the evening with Mom of GodChildren n her Boyfriend. We had a very fun time.

Then came home to a long conversation with DayBreak. All beyond good!

forgiveness, part two

2008-06-14T13:17:00.000-07:00

Very interesting responses to my previous post.

I had a choice. To bow up and get offended at their critisisms of me, or to get the Father's perspective.

I know, deep in my knower that people that critisize, get offended, hold grudges, act poorly are themselves wounded and hurting and not real secure with their person and purpose in life.

Whole, secure people are compelled to give mercy, compassion, to uplift and nurture those around them. For me, it is a minute by minute journey. Sometimes I act out of that adult and whole part of me and other times I spew out of the wounded and childish part of me.

Jesus gave us the example when the scripture says the whole community would come out to hear Him and He would look at the multitude, have compassion and heal them ALL. I believe in that multitude was every sin in the spectrum. But He saw the cause of the sin, the abused or neglected or bullied child who did not process life correctly and became an abuser, etc.

The enemy of our soul, the Devil, is always there to accuse us, condemn us, judge us, make us feel hopeless. When we want to see ourselves as worthless, hopeless, degenerate failures, that voice is not our own, not God's, but the enemy who has come to steal, to kill and to destroy (us).

TT and I were in a miserable mess twelve years ago. We moved here because our marriage was dead and we hated each other. Loved each other, too. You know what a fine line that is. While Revival brought us back into a closer relationship with Jesus, it was the teachings of an older woman who brought healing to our broken hearts. It did not happen fast. Kind of like trying to restore someone who had been dragged behind a car for a mile or two.

But month by month, we listened to her Healing Solutions and she would put her hand on our heart and pray for the healing oil and wine of the Lord to heal all our broken places. And bit by bit, we experienced His mercy and forgiveness and healing power.

Once I experienced His compassion for me, it was much easier to look at others with His compassion. And to finally STOP judging.

I also learned boundaries. I learned that it was not judgemental to say no to behaviors others might want to inflict on me. For example, not partaking in gossip by listening to them. Not being manipulated or pushed around. That is was okay to require respect and courtesy for my time, my talent, my resources, etc.

Do I think last Saturday's conversation was entirely "fair" or "right"? Heck, no. I do not agree with their belief that it is okay to tell other people why they are mad at me and not tell me. Likewise it is not right for them to gripe to me about their problems with others. It is not right to hold anger and suspect against me for something that happened two years ago!! And turns out, it was not rightly percieved anyway.

But, am I okay with it? Yes. I know they are deeply wounded. I will choose compassion. And take each day as it comes. Truth is, I love them. So, what does love do. . .

. . . 1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

God, help me.

forgiveness

2008-06-08T17:05:00.000-07:00

Hmmmmmmmmm. . . I was taken by surprise at god-daughter's Ballet Recital celebration dinner when my friend who I had the falling out with wanted to talk.

We did. Until about midnight. Went from restaurant over to their house. All four of us. Sometimes five.

I learned a lot. I had moved on. God has been giving me a lot of gifts. Refreshed friendship with my Katrina friend and started attending her Bible Study every third week. That has been rich.

He gave me back DayBreak, a friend from way back who used to work for me at Orlando salon. We had paths to travel, but our roads converged. We both are goofy, kinda like a honeymoon. We talk about once a week or less. Our phone date today was two hours, forty one minutes and fifteen seconds!! That was rich, too.

Then there is a client who invited me into her Bunco group and I see them once a month. In August, they all come here!! What fun.

Gardenia and I have been getting to spend some time together at paint parties and now we are trying to coordinate a foursome dinner. I am so happy to be seeing her more. (but so much LESS of her. OMGosh, she looks divine!!)

Painting has led me to begin turning our big front room into a gallery. I love sitting in there, looking at my primitive and kind of juvenile paintings. I keep wondering what my work will look like a year from now and in five years!

My biggest blessing is my healed family. We have BOTH our daughters, our granddaughters and one son-in-law. And our dear god-children and my very precious friend, their mama.

My life is full. Happy. Relatively peaceful. I continue to seek to grow in grace in my relationship with the Lord. To uplift and encourage and be kind.

I look for the good and try to overlook the difficult. And I don't want to have the negatives be the focus of any relationship.

I am happy to have her back in my life. I never stopped loving her. I don't trust that what I say/do gets rightly interpreted. Which will keep me on guard. That's okay.

Last night was what she/they don't like about me. Honestly, I had to agree with them. I don't like everything about me either! It was a new start. I am hopeful.

He is my source of all good things.

Hence, I am okay with it all.

Losing Hilda

2008-05-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

May 20, 2007, my daughter married the man of her dreams. He is her gold, her diamond, her platinum, her star, just the best guy in the world.

With him, she gained the mother-in-law of her dreams, too. Very sadly, Hilda Katherine passed from here to Eternity, 7:30p.m. May 20, 2008.

She had been ill with diabetes for quite some time. She was wonderful about watching her diet and exercising. But she was struck with some sort of virus and after at least six weeks of heavy medication, her liver failed.

She spent about two weeks in the hospital before she slipped from this world to the next.

Saturday she was buried under bright skies, a gentle breeze and to a symphony of birds and crickets merrily chirping. Her two youngest granddaughters sobs spoke to her loving legacy.

Her family showed remarkable composure and dignity, with only an occasional quivering chin and moistened eyes. Her three sons and a very lonely husband of nearly fifty years straightened their shoulders and strode into this next passage of life without their matriarch.

Our hearts go out to all of them.

NYC!!

2008-05-10T13:33:00.000-07:00

We had the best time! Left Friday at 6 am. First flight for Assistant. They tried three times to let the landing gear down while they circled and circled and circled! Oi. Thank God, the third time was the charm. Dot talked Assistant through it very calmly.

I kept trying to remember the whole Act of Contrition! Decided, "Jesus have mercy and forgive me" was enough. Fear can be so cleansing! lol

We arrived at LaGuardia about noon. Were picked up by the best transport service ever. We gratefully inhaled the bottles of Smart Water in the Escalade.

We stayed at Milford Plaza on 8th and 43rd (ish). Around the corner was the Minskoff Theatre where we would see LION KING Saturday night. Across the street was Carmines. We ate there Friday night after getting our hair done at the Minardi Salon on 61st and Madison Ave.

Talking to Carmine Minardi was one of the highlights of the trip for me. He really is a southern gentleman in a northern body. I would love to work at his friendly and highly professional salon. His staff is amazing. We only got a glimpse of the famous Beth Minardi as she dashed through the salon between appointments. She is truly one of the great hair colorists of our time. I hopefully will get to mentor under her within the next year. She does a one on one mentorship, Tues through Fri.

After getting our hair done, we went to Mass at St Patrick's Cathedral. It is is beautiful, majestic. The Mass was very simple. Honestly, I miss my own parish. Haven't been for three weeks with my travels. I was touched that all three of the girls attended Mass with me.

After, we zoomed over to H and M for some crazed shopping. I say that because it is so packed and forget a fitting room! I bought a great jacket that Jade found for me, two scarves and a bracelet and earrings. It was getting cold, so the jacket was comforting!

Carmine's was a blast. We shared a bottle of admittedly wonderful wine. I tend to just order house to save money. Dot insisted on this French wine. Ah, she was right. Of course we made friends with a couple tables of people around us. Hence the foursome photo (with Jade holding the treasured bottle)!

Saturday was shopping day. Breakfast at the Brooklyn Diner, back to St Patrick's gift shop, and stopped into Sax. Dot tried on the most woohoo hat ever. Darn that it was $500!! We drooled over the shoes on the eighth floor, then on to Canal Street so Assistant could experience buying PURSES!! We had many fun adventures. Jade got one purse, I found four, Assistant bought two and Dot never could find the purfect match.

With a start, Jade announced it was 6:00. We flew on the subway back to our rooms to prepare for the theatre. Even though many are going more and more casual, we wanted to honor all that talent and production by dressing to the nines! That we did. And the usher thanked us for looking so glammy!

We were seated in the center of the first row in the balcony. With no one to ask, we began taking our own picture! We snapped about four when the Camera Nazi stomped over to us and screeched for us to HALT or she would shoot!!! We did not know it was a federal offence, punishable by death, to take our own photo. It was rather funny.

LION KING is a must see. We were a mountain of goose-bumps.

Sunday we went to Westway Diner for breakfast. We then split to attend the Beth and Carmine Minardi BEAUTY FOCUS class and Dot went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Our class was extremely inspiring both in technique and in professionalism. We learned that much of what we have been practicing has truly been hitting the mark, but definitely had the barre raised.

My direction of attempting a luxury atmosphere and service is where the industry is heading. They predict that only the low budget and the high end salons will survive and thrive during this rocky economy. I learned after Hurricane Ivan that women really need the salon to have some sense of normalcy.

Sunday night we journeyed on the subway to Chinatown, then walked to Little Italy (what an abrupt change in atmosphere) to dine at La Mela. By far, it was the best experience of the trip. La Mela is a very small restaurant with very personal service. The atmosphere is calm and homey in the Italian sense. The chemistry between the four of us was perfect. We all shared our hearts and left feeling deeply bonded.

We took a cab home and set our clocks for 4:00 am. The alarm went off way too early for our bodies, but we had committed to being in the studio audience of Good Morning America. We staggered to slap on some glamour and made our way through the very cold and rainy morning to stand in line outside GMA til 6:15.

Lovely time to forget my umbrella. So here I am, a relatively accomplished stylist, about to be on national TV with frizzily, frazzily unkempt looking hair! Maybe that is why the cameras cut me from every shot! Sam Champion, the weatherman, was so friendly. He came over and spoke to all of us.

I could hardly see him, because I was still dizzy from my close encounter with Patrick Demsey, who had ambled over about eight feet in front of me, to stop, look straight into my eyes and say, "Hi."

I gulped and hope something intelligible came out of my mouth. Assistant attested to every client this week that "he singled Hattigrace out, only speaking to her!!". Patrick Demsey kindly posed with many for photos. I, of course, never regained my composure to request a photo, not to mention my pride over how wretched my hair looked!

After GMA, we were asked to be guests on the show GMA Now, an internet show. We hopped into the biggest elevator I have ever seen, walked into the green room to be briefed on our part in the Laughter Yoga piece (!!!). While waiting I looked up to see Brooke Parkhurst walk in with a red Kentucky Derby hat on! How small is this world that I would run into the sister of my friend and client in a NYC TV studio?!!

After our TV debut, we did a bit of shopping for gifts, ate lunch, packed up our room and began, sadly enough, to leave the City.

TT had texted me "Watch out NYC, the real Fantastic Four have arrived!" It was a fantastic trip.

trip

2008-04-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

Our god-children capture my heart! Five years old, doing my make-up! She had so much fun!

And here is the after! Well, the lipstick ran over just a little! We had all watched American Idol together. God-son is here-after going to be called Simon Jr, because he makes the most astute observations.

"David Cook sang (Music of the Night) the song really good, but he didn't look like he was having fun." Eight years old and he GETS it!!

Tomorrow morning, at 6:05, I leave with Dot and Assistant to meet Jade in Memphis and we fly into LaGuardia at noon!! We are so excited to have a New York City weekend together!

Assistant, Jade and I are attending the Beth and Carmine Minardi BEAUTY FOCUS class Sunday. It will be a fabulous boost to our carreers as hairstylists.

Saturday night, we all see LION KING. Friday afternoon we are all getting a shampoo and style at the Minardi Salon. After, we are attending Mass at St Patricks. The rest of the time will be a bargain/shopathon!

We began planning this January 9. Our fun time is finally here!!! TT and Isabella will be on their own. But judging by the refridgerator, I think a bit of partying is going down while Mama's away!!!!

How He Loves Us - Kim Walker / Jesus Culture

2008-04-14T20:21:00.001-07:00

Oprah got offended when she thought her minister said God was jealous "of her", not understanding He is jealous FOR her. And for all of us.

American Idol Shout to The Lord Reprise

2008-04-13T15:53:00.001-07:00

Dot n I sang this hundreds of times when we were in choir together. (We were in soprano section!) It is beautiful.

Dont Drink The Kool-Aid: Oprah, Obama and The Occult

2008-04-03T22:00:00.001-07:00

Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction.
Matthew 7:13

Jesus said to him, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
John 14:6

happy

2008-03-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

TT n I are happy! Can you tell? We had the funnest night out at a restaurant on the beach, listening to some new friends play guitar and sing. Went with godchildren's mom (she is such a great friend to us) and a friend of hers. We just had fun!

I haven't been much of a blogger these days. Busy with family, friends, cooking, and now, doing some more rearranging in the dining room and keeping room. Bought three Paul Jackson watercolor prints. Am all excited about getting some ART on our walls!

TT found out today that a sister and a nephew are coming back to the Catholic Church. Remember he is the eldest of twelve. One sibling died an infant. They were raised Catholic, but after their father died, they all had experiences with Jesus outside of the Church and all became Protestant. Their father was a convert in his early twenties. Coming back to the Catholic Church is a powerful way for them all to honor him. He was a fabulous man.

I deleted the post I wrote about my aching heart over the split up with the 'friend' that turned out to not be a friend at all. I have prayed a lot so that my heart would not be judging and hardened. I was concerned my post was a bit whiny. Yech.

I had spent time with her and her family almost exclusively, to the neglect of some other friends. It has been fun and heartwarming to see the Lord open doors of relationships all around me. I shan't be alone!!

I have been reading the Bible pretty regularily and His word keeps my heart tender and pliable. I hate it when I get arrogant and self-assured. Right now, I am in a wonderful place of security in my relationship with Him, just feeling like He is so near and tenderly watching over us.

The picture says it all!

St. Patrick's Day

2008-03-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ within me,
Christ below me,
Christ above me,
Christ at my right,
Christ at my left,
Christ in lying down,
Christ in sitting,
Christ in rising up,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

---St. Patrick of Ireland

Glammy Jammie Oscar's Party

2008-02-25T12:13:00.000-08:00

We watched many movies.

We sent out invitations.

We shopped for months for just the right jammies!

We cooked for hours, preparing the best foods!

And finally, the (second annual )Glammy Jammie Oscar Party began!

Smoked Salmon Pizza (cream cheese, capers and dill)
Meat Roll-ups stuffed with Herbed Goat Cheese wrapped around Feta stuffed Olives
Focaccia with Rosemary and Grapes
Bruchetta
Crostinis
Rotel Cheese Dip with Frito Scoops
Veggie Tray with Fancy Ranch Dip
Pineapple, Gala Apple and Seedless Green Grape tray with Honey Cinnamon Yogurt Dip
Wheat-free Crackers and Sundried Tomato Hummus
White and Dark Chocolate Dipped Strawberries
Mini Cherry Cheesecakes
Star Punch (Fuzzy Navels with Star Fruit!)

Jade and I worked together very well in kitchen. Her dots helped a lot, too. Assistant made the Focaccia and Dot made the Meat Roll-ups. The food was beautiful and delish!

I suppose the most touching part of the night for me was Marion Colliard's acceptance speech for winning Best Actress as Edith Pief in La Vie en Rose. TT, Dot and I loved that movie (remember our affection for Paris) and were taken with her humility and joy.

Jade, friend and dots have been here since Thursday nite. We have enjoyed every second. This morning it was hard to say goodbye, but knowing we will be together in NYC in six weeks eases the pain of separation.

Next goal. . . working off the extra winter pounds and poufs around our middles!

Living

2008-02-20T20:27:00.001-08:00

Life is simple now that I have learned how to live happy .

I came home from work tonight and Kalena and I made "brinner". (that is breakfast for dinner) We all watched American Idol together. Brinner on the couch. The kids were doing acrobatics in between asking, "Miss H, did you like her, do you think she will get voted off, are you gonna vote for her?"

Little D not only ate everything on her plate, but she went back for seconds! OMG, that was a record worthy of Olympic coverage! She was so proud of herself. She came and whispered in my ear something, and I said, "I love you, too, D." She said, "No, I said I love my EGGS!!"

After eating, little D got out my brushes and combs and barrettes and proceeded to coif her mother's hair and mine!

In between, both Dot and Jade and Assistant were texting me their Idol opinions! And god-son continued asking me if I was gonna vote for the Rocker Nurse!

At the end of the show, Dot texted me to tell me to get outside to see the lunar eclipse. Sure enough, the moon looked blood-red. It looked apocolyptic.

Then Jade called to talk about when she would arrive tomorrow nite. OMG, how exciting that she and the girls will be here for our Glammy Jammy Oscars Party!

Cheese Omlette, Heart-shaped Waffles, Bacon, American Idol, two god-children, a very good friend, a new hair-do, kids eating their entire meal, texts and calls from grown daughters and a lunar eclipse. . . what a very happy night!

Does living get any better?!

Forty Twelve!

2008-02-16T21:19:00.000-08:00

It was one of my happiest birthdays ever! I told TT that I have never had a birthday with so few material things AND so much love.

Everyone is rather tight (eeeeek) on money right now. So, I asked for dirt for my garden! I am planting an herb garden on March 20. Last weekend, we emptied out the 25' x 2' planter and lined it with weed matt and rocks for good drainage. I want this Miracle Gro Organic Garden Mix dirt that is $7.77 for a two cubic foot bag! It will take about fifteen bags to fill my planter!

So, everyone gave me dirt! And I am thrilled!

Dot, Assistant, Kalina and mom-of-squishy-baby came over with lovely foods for brunch and mimosas. Dot should go into catering (and modeling and makeup and dancing. . . she is just so gifted and beautiful).

In the midst of it all, I got to talk to KE, my best friend from high school and exchange texts with daughter Jade. I later got to talk to her and we excitedly made plans for her visit next weekend with her girls and her good friend (so the gift continues, I will get to see her and my grand-dots!!!) Son-in-luv came over later in the evening and was a walking birthday card. What a beautiful thing to have him sit and tell us just how much he loves our daughter and how much he loves us and loves spending time with us.

After eating and opening cards and gift cards for dirt, somehow we got into my storage stuff and got out a couple of my mom's square dance dresses. Only Dot and Kalina have the 24 inch waists to fit into her tiny clothing. Dot even busted out Mother's petticoats!

Our home was filled with love, laughter, children playing, food, friends and family. It was a lovely, sunshiney, sparkly day. Inside and outside!

Just Plain Happy

2008-02-13T19:14:00.000-08:00

I thank God for my priest telling me the way out of depression was to compromise my expectations and get HAPPY with my reality.

It resonated with me how much of my life I have spent miserable over what would later ammount to nothing. I have always been a "make a mountain out of a molehill" kind of person. Oi.

When I decided to get happy, nothing much had changed. Funny, the changes came later.

God gave me the amazing grace to forgive a huge debt. As I held the debtor ransom, my heart was in bondage. I was playing Christmas music from our old church, Brownsville and the Spirit of God swept my heart and I knew the way out of the torment. . . forgive it and let it go. I was free as soon as I said, "Yes, Lord, I release and forgive."

Soon after that, TT, Dot and Hub would go to Orlando and stay with Jade and the children. Gloriously, I was given back my heart-daughter. Dot is my blood daugher. My beloved firstborn.

When I was in my first marriage, I told him I wanted us to pray for the Lord to bring us an older girl to adopt so Dot would have an older sister. He thought I was nuts. Really, I did too.

We divorced two years later. And along comes TT, my knight in shining armor. And Jade. I cut her hair one afternoon. And fell in love with her. God had prepared my heart for her two years before. That is why I call her my heart daughter. She helped TT and I get together. She started calling me "mom" before her father and I even married.

Dot came to me and said, "Mommy, I want Jade for my sister and TT for my daddy."

There was alot of love among us. Why it fell apart is history. How it came back together is a miracle. I can't forget that it happened AFTER I forgave the big debt. Like forgiving was the token for the richness of a healed family.

I love Jade. Deeply. Dot and I are twins in many areas. But in many, we are opposite. And that's where Jade and I are alike. I feel like my heart has warm honey flowing over it. I have both my girls. I need them both. Dot tried to fill the gap and be all for me. She couldn't. I will never forget that she tried.

When she and Jade got reconnected, I told Dot, "Now I can die in peace, knowing you won't be alone, you have your sister." She said, "I thought about that."

I am in no hurry!!

I have had a broken heart over not having more children. I decided to believe God would fill my life. Now I have many! Two twelve year old god-daughters, an eight year old god-son, a five year old god-daughter and a twelve year old and six year old granddaughter!!! My arms are rarely empty and my heart stays full of joy.

Every day I go to work to a full schedule of fabulous clients/friends. Work is a JOY! How is it legal to have so much FUN earning a living?

My husband is a loving, caring, kind man who makes the best spaghetti in the world and who keeps me sane in the mornings when I can't decide what to wear and need my lunch packed. He loves me, through and through.

I have decided why waste today worrying about tomorrow? "For I have been young and I have been old, but I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their seed begging for bread," says the psalmist.

Life is seasonal. I spent a decade in lonely agony and disappointment. How I pictured my life and how it has been are worlds apart. TT and I lost the excessive riches of this world. But we have gained the better. We share a magnificent faith, a deeply loving family and dear friends. Like I heard at Thanksgiving, "Thank You for friends that are like family and family that are friends." It is so wonderful to be in this happy place.

Tomorrow is Valentines. Thank You Lord for how You have poured out Your care and love into my life.

SUPERbowl!

2008-02-04T15:16:00.000-08:00

This was one reason I got the TV for TT. He loves watching football with his best friend. BF LOVES NewYork Giants, so we had the SuperBowl party!!

I made Black Bean Chunky Beef Chili, mini hamburgers (Sliders), oven roasted french fries, Jade's Macaroni and Cheese. We had sour cream, chopped dill pickles and salsa to top the chili. Friends brought Hot Wings, Deviled Eggs, Veggie Tray, Individual CheeseCakes, Cookies, Chips n Guacamole. . . I may be leaving something out. It was a FEAST!!

Had leftovers tonight! That's a nice reward.

While this picture looks pretty quiet, we had a rip-roaring fun time. And wasn't that an exciting game?!!

Don't tell me people never change. I was screaming right along with them at the final touchdown!!

I am a convert. Gotta go study up on the Gators for next season!!

growing

2008-02-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to see if it really does look longer! Once every decade, I stupidly cut off all my hair. This has been the least traumatic for me. Not so insecure as I once was. Better styling tools now.

Read the book HOW NOT TO LOOK OLD, at the suggestion of Beth Minardi, the hair color guru I will be studying under in a year. That book confirmed what I knew. Too short (or too long, for that matter) is O.L. (old lady!!)

I have instructed all my clients that I need their first comment to be, "My goodness, Hattigrace, your hair has really grown fast!!" I take Biotin daily to help it along!

You know I stopped smoking cigarettes September 23rd-ish. Have not had ONE!! Getting through January was a big deal. That was when I caved last year. But New Year's Eve and my friend's birthday, I had a cigar!! No inhaling, so I thought I was fine.

Then, I noticed I was craving cigs more. TT reminded me how the mouth absorbs nicotene. Hmmmm, I forgot about that. I was only thinking about my lungs and not inhaling. So, this is most likely that last cigar I will have. Didn't really enjoy it that much anyway.

Well, this is a deep and thought-provoking post!!!

Plans

2008-01-13T22:10:00.000-08:00

While Jade and I were sitting on the couch New Year's Day, she asked about my continuing education.

"I went to New York three years ago, London and Paris two years ago, didn't go anywhere last year because of the moving expense into the new Studio, but I am looking for something to attend in New York for '08."

"Hey, if you go to New York, call me, I'll go with you!"

Was I hearing right? OMG, what a THRILL!

Being Hattigrace, I was on the computer the next day, searching. I knew the class I wanted to attend.

It just came together beautifully. Long story short, Dot, Jade, Assistant and I are heading to New York for the Beth and Carmine Minardi BEAUTY FOCUS class in April! We have our airfare purchased, our lovely room reserved, class tickets bought and tickets to see The Lion King!!

I have not seen a show in NYC. I am over the moon with excitement! We are also trying for Good Morning America tickets. A and I watch it every day. You know, Diane and Robin are our best friends!!!

From now til April I cannot spend a dime on anything. Oi, between TT's TV and the rest of Christmas and now this. . . breath, breath, we only live once, right? As Dot says, "I have never regretted a trip I have taken or even thought about the expense of it once I came back."

I feel so blessed, taking a special trip with my two daughters and my dear friend and business partner.

A true circle of life.

HAPPY New Year

2008-01-06T19:52:00.000-08:00

That's what it is. The very happiest new year we have ever had. Ever.

As much as I talk/write, I don't tell all. Some things stay deep in my heart. Mostly the aches that no one can heal. I try to focus on all the good stuff. Leave the sad stuff to the only One that can help.

TT has a daughter. She was 17 when I married him. I was 28. You guessed it. . . I blew it on about every count. I had come out of a very bad marriage. Basically I wanted everything my way. Oi, what a wake of wreckage behind me.

She had enough. I don't blame her. Much of the time, I really didn't like me either.

So, we have walked separately for a little over a decade. I stopped talking. Just prayed. Every Sunday, "God, please help me be who I need to be and heal our family." TT prayed the same.

I don't exactly know how it all changed or why. That really doesn't matter.

But gloriously, she is back. With her two girls. TT's granddaughters. And she graciously has introduced me to them as, "This is my Mom Hattigrace. . . your grandma!" They are beautiful like her. Smart and full of humor and deeply caring. And they call me "gramma"!!!

I have died and gone to Heaven.

Dot and Hubby have the New Year's Eve party every year. She said, "Jade is coming to our party." So, we all brought in 2008 together. It was a happy, happy night. The best part was the next day when Jade and I got about eight hours together to just talk and talk and talk and talk. Her sweet girls were with us and would give delicious hugs every now and then.

I told Dot, "You are my only Dot. And she is my only Jade. One can never replace the other. You are both number one."

To be truthful, I have had a hole in my heart for a decade. Jade has this fabulous gift of being able to laugh at herself. While deeply empathetic, she is equally lighthearted. She loves to talk. She loves to text. She loves to hug. She loves to listen. She brings sonshine into any room.

Can you imagine being in the room with both Dots? It is one very happy, fun place!

I have slept soundly all night long since December 31. I feel complete again. My family is whole. I feel whole.

Now, I just need to find our family jet so we can all see each other every weekend!

Meanwhile, I guess we will have to keep texting.

Merry Christmas Isabella, er, TT!

2007-12-22T14:13:00.000-08:00

I tried to load this movie to YouTube, but having problems. So, thought I would show you the still at least.

I only lie about good things, like what I am giving my husband for Christmas! He was pretty surprised, to say the least.

Always good to have Isabella's approval.

And, 4Dinners, have a very happy birthday!

He's home!!

2007-12-17T19:25:00.000-08:00

It was way too quiet this weekend. Okay, be honest Hattigrace. . . Uh, I did get a lot done. First, I rested, slept, rested and slept. I did not eat any sugar or drink any wine. I felt like I was coming up out of quicksand. My chest had been feeling very tight. Not pain, just pressure. Arms, uh, the left one, going numb at night when I was not laying on it. Hmmmmm.

Dang it, my body is way sensitive. I knitted this really cool short cape. Giant needles, so it went fast. Felt good to knit again.

TT was in O with Dot and Hub. Seeing TT's elder Dot. And his grand dots! A very happy time for them. And for me, cause I would die if I couldn't see my Dot, and it had been a long time for TT. But the quiet of the house even got to Isabella. She kept getting up in his chair, waiting at the top of the stairs for him, looking at me as if to say, "What did you do with him?"

He had a wonderful time. His younger grand dot gave him this little pony. Of course, Isabella couldn't stand it that TT didn't give it to her to play with. We heard all sorts of whining and carrying on!

His elder grand dot gave him this singing coffee cup! I LOVE it! Like Father Mercy told me, "Hattigrace, sometimes we have to compromise our expectations so we can get happy with our realities." Words that have changed my life. Oh, that's right, the cup is TT's!!! Well, I hope he plays the song for me a lot!

See the two remotes? That was one of his bigger Christmas gifts. I got him DVR. I had it set up while he was gone. Complete with red bows! When he saw it, he asked with great excitement, "Did you get a new TV?!!!!" That kind of stung. . . wish I could have. As it is, the presents under the tree look like we have twelve children. It is going to be a very good Christmas, but I am not Donald Trump!! He felt bad he had said anything, I felt bad I can't do more. But I think he is real happy about the DVR. He will be able to have his own instant replay on football games and we can watch American Idol with no commercials!!

So, he's back home, snoring in his chair while Isabella is lurking about trying to swipe his pony. Don worry, be 'appy!

Eduardo's Story of Life

2007-12-08T12:48:00.001-08:00

Go see BELLA, the movie. It is supposed to be beautiful.

Evel Knievel accepted Jesus Christ

2007-12-04T22:51:00.001-08:00

This is beautiful.

Thanksgiving Day

2007-11-23T21:25:00.000-08:00

Isn't life about family and friends? We had a fabulous Thanksgiving. Thirteen at the table. Teaching our god-children how to make fresh whipped cream was so fun!

Only my helpers get to lick the beaters! One trauma at about 11:30, just as I was putting the sweet potatos and the corn pudding in the oven. My oven QUIT! Flashed on it's screen, "Call Service Professional". Thank GOD TT has been taking care of our great neighbor's dogs and had a key to their house. We used their oven and so once again, they literally saved the day!! Wheeewwww.

After we had all gourged ourselves on too much food, we had a Silly String War! What fun. Got us all laughing, running from each other. In general, we were breathing, which none of us thought we could do when we tottered away from the table!

You know, it is a great compliment when my Dot feels at home enough still that she takes a nappy! We had a lovely chit-chat. Okay, I had more photos for this post of TT. . . I don't know where Picasa put them. I will try again later.

Meanwhile, just wanted to say, we had a very good day. We hold Isabella close to our aching hearts and are healing a bit from our loss.
I moved a bunch of furnature around to accomodate all the people and decided I loved the change. So, our dining room is now where the living room was and the former dining room, which is right off the kitchen is a sitting room. I think the new term is the "occassion room"? Anyway, the house seems bigger, more current, and certainly more welcoming.

Christmas tree goes up tomorrow!! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

gone

2007-11-20T20:19:00.000-08:00

We are so sad. Picked up puppy at airport last night, 10:00. She was very dirty, as had been traveling in her little crate since 3:45. She flew from Kentucky to Cincinnati to here.

She seemed so tiny, frail. Brought her home, gave her some food and water, introduced her to Isabella. Well, puppy was scared to death of enthusiastic, tail wagging, barking big sister. She cried out in distress.

I took her to "her room", cleaned her up, against her will gave her some Nutrical and tried to get her to drink some more water. She threw up a couple of times. I thought it was from the stress.

This morning, I went into the bathroom to little piles of diarrhea. . . she was very weak, but wagged her tail when she saw me. Tim immediately took her to the vet.

They were concerned about all her symptoms and said they would I.V. her and keep her for the day. Two hours later, we lost her.

After the autopsy, the doc called me. She had Parvo. We could not have saved her. The stress of the trip most likely exacerbated it, but she was so tiny, bony, that she did not have much to fight with.

We have spent the rest of the day and night washing floors, laundry, decontaminating our home in protection of Isabella. She is current on her vaccinations. But it is still scary.

Our hearts are heavy. It will be a while before we recover from this.

nervous

2007-11-18T21:50:00.000-08:00

Sister arrives tomorrow night at 9:30. I have given Isabella her bath and hair do. Spent a lot of time with her. She is used to being the only princess. . .

Have done a lot of reading on how to successfully bring a new puppy into a family. Don't introduce them face to face, but you know where they sniff each other. . . have not read, should puppy sniff Isabella first, or vice versa? Anyone know?

Gonna be careful to treat Isabella as the apple of my eye and not ignore her for the puppy. That's what has me nervous, because I think Isabella is so sweet because of how much I handled her and loved on her and talked soft and sweet to her. How is puppy gonna be secure if I can't do that?

"They" say that the first couple of weeks can be tough and then all of a sudden, they start getting along. That is encouraging.

I am prepared for the worst. Hoping for the best. Doesn't life settle somewhere in between?

I have not been painting. Just so busy with holiday preparations. I have almost all my Christmas bought and wrapped. Was concerned once puppy got here I would not have the time.

I start college in January. Still have CPT to take. I know I will end up in remedial math. I am fine with that. Will be good to pick up a paint brush again.

Having god-children and their families over for Thanksgiving, along with my dear daughter and son-in-law. Will be moving furniture around to accommodate that! We are very excited about the holidays.

Painting will have to wait!

sister

2007-11-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

Isabella needs a sister and we think we have found her.

She's from Kentucky, eleven weeks old, her mother is daddy is three pounds, her mama is six pounds, so she is supposed to end up about five pounds. So, little sister will be bigger than Isabella.

Isabella has never been accepted by any dog. All my friends have very large dogs, so they treat her like an annoyance or like she is invisible. It has given her a bit of a complex. I think she will be much happier with a sista'!

Any suggestions for dealing with a new puppy and a one year old dog? And names. . . I have no inspiration yet. Any ideas?

art festival

2007-11-04T18:24:00.000-08:00

We all went to the Art Festival today.

And we couldn't wait for the sugary funnel cakes! God-son and I got in a bit of a sugar fight and he inadvertantly doused me real good!

We had a great laugh. Look at my black velvet jeans! It was everywhere! Even in my purse.

Today was actually Isabella's first birthday. I feel real bad because we left her home while we attended Mass, then the Festival, then dinner at our extended family's house. She did not seem mad at us. And here I thought I was going to have a big party for her. Not a very good dog mommie am I?

third class

2007-10-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

Here is the original print.

My copy.

This week, she had me start filling in the color with a thicker paint. Mixing color is very hard for me. Kind of scary, since color is a major part of my hair career! But, I definitely learned a lot with this lesson. I laughed out loud over her face the first time around. It did improve!

I met a woman Saturday on my outing with Gardenia, Susan E. Myers. Oh, my, she really "got me". She is very in tune with the emotional, spiritual connection with painting. I love her work. LOVE her work. I hope she can take me on as a student. She just "retired" from the junior college I am starting at in January. Drat. Well, I have to trust the right instruction will be there for me.

TT and I had a delightful weekend with our god-children and their mama. I made costumes and we played in the park after church, watched a movie together. . . a wonderful time.

Did you have a nice weekend, too?

Second Class

2007-10-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

I am loving my Monday night painting class!

After tracing the entire painting onto the canvas (which was quite a long process itself!), my first assignment was to paint darks and lights.

First, I was instructed to paint a wash over the entire canvas of Yellow Ochre for warmth.

Then used varying intensities of black and water for all the darks. The teacher taught me to squint, looking at the original to see only the "value", or dark and light. Then, I was to duplicate that on mine. Blocking in the major shapes in this manner is called a "layin".

Next, she wants me to begin in the upper left hand corner applying color. Because I am right handed, I won't be smudging my work.

I hope I get some time this week to work on this!

P.S. I have been working on my math skills. My first "test" to see what I am learning I got an 86 on! Not too bad considering I haven't had any math for 34 years!! Hahahaha!

Pensacola Tornado

2007-10-20T14:12:00.001-07:00

2007-10-20T13:42:00.001-07:00

Thursday, October 18 began as a very rainy, dark morning. I was foiling my first client when my second client called to say there were tornado warnings, but she was still on her way.

By the time she arrived, she said the tornado was downtown, which is only a mile from us. In moments, we saw the inky funnel cloud looming over us out my big window. My first client dove into her bag for her cell phone, Assistant grabbed hers and I began pacing the hallway with mine, "Heavenly Father, protect us in Your mercy, TT, a tornado is on it's way, get Isabella and get in the den, Hail Mary full of grace. . . "

"A., where is Dot?"

"She went to the mall."

Ring her. "Dot, a tornado is coming. DO NOT leave the mall."

"Okay, Mom. Listen, while you are on the phone, I found a great birthday gift for New Mommy. Do you want to go in with me on it?"

"Sure, sure. Just don't leave the mall."

Back to work. Begin a razor cut on second client while first client's foils are heating up in color processor. Cool cut, a Victoria B. bob. The ominous black cloud has receded into the horizon a bit.

Dot calls. "The tornado came by here. Everyone started screaming. Their hair was blowing and insulation was floating in the air and it was really loud. But I am okay now."

Relief. She's okay. Back to cutting. The tornado came very near the mall. The mall. The mall. " SHIT!!!!!!!!" We live four blocks from the mall. "TT and Isabella."

Stop cutting. Try TT's cell phone. No answer. Try home phone. No answer. Hands are now shaking. Must stay on schedule. "A., get ahold of TT. Call Dot. Tell her to check on him. I have to know they are okay."

"OOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!" Major cut on bird finger with brand new razor (I don't use a guard). It is over an inch long, and deep. A. faints at the sight of blood so I shoooooe her out of the room. "You have to get a bandaid on me while I hold my finger together", I tell my client.

Finger bandaged. Back to work. TT calls. He and Isabella and house are safe. Wheeeewwww. Breathing again.

Later, we learn the Office Depot parking lot is a mass of turned upside down vehicles.

Dot had gone there first before going to mall. She was ahead of danger by ten minutes. Her father prays every day for our safety. Keep praying, TT.

first class

2007-10-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

First painting class tonight with Valerie Aune . This is not college, but an artist who teaches five students at a time in her home studio. She is fabulous!! I was cross-eyed, trying to mix paint to match house paint swatches, and spots in a magazine picture she had circled!

She starts by having us copy a master's painting. Says that many lessons are in copying. As much as a pianist first learns to play by playing other people's music before he begins composing his own.

So, I selected John Singer Sargent's "Street in Venice", 1882. I thought she kind of resembled me and one day, I want to go to Italy.

I know I started a separate art blog, but it is all meshing together for right now. I will use that to display my finished work, but I guess you all are going to go through the agony of the process with me!

TT said I had shining eyes from the class. I really like her style of teaching. Hope I will be able to continue with her once I start college.

art

2007-10-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

Friday night we all went to the Art Museum for the Duane Hanson- Real Life opening reception. The kids love art. Their mama loves art. And TT and I love art!

I worked all last weekend on my sewing room/office to transform it into my office/studio because I have decided to. . . . GO TO COLLEGE!!!!! Yup. I am going tomorrow (God willing, that is) to register for January! Going for my AA in Studio Arts. Who knows, I may not stay that course. I do love to write. I actually have many interests. But will start with Studio Art degree.

I only took one semester of college. My parents did not encourage higher education. Funny, because I think my father went for four years to become an accountant.

Mother got her MRS degree twice. She married her high school sweetheart, but was widowed near the end of WW2. She had my eldest sis by her first. He never got to see his baby girl. Died when she was only four months old. Then, when Eldest was four, Mother married my father.

At any rate, it worked for them for her to stay home, raise us girls, refinish antique furniture, quilt, hook rugs, embroider and knit. That seems like a dream world, huh? She always referred to people who did not possess her "common sense" as "educated nit-wits". And Daddy seemed to slight the "college boys".

Whatever, I did not get it that college would help me. Passed that erroneousness on to my Dot, who really would have loved a higher education. Oi.

I don't know why the bug has bit me at this stage in life, but it really has. I did some online lessons in algebra and I floated the whole next day from solving one equation!!!

I know this, I want our god-children to go to college. I am already instilling that plan in their trusting brains.

Young Eagle

2007-10-06T20:33:00.000-07:00

God-son's first flight today. Pilot was incredible. Walked god-son through every step of pre-flight plane check. Pilot is retired and lives on the airfield access. Some people have horses, he has airplanes. They don't take a cent for this. Just want to pass the love of flying on to the next generation.

TT could tell you more about the plane, but suffice it to say, it is new and fabby!

As god-son disappeared, I told his mama, "He'll never be the same." Once a man flies, can't no one tell him he don't have wings!

It'll be years before god-son will understand why TT and I watched him fly off into the clouds with tears streaming down our cheeks.

Harrison Ford is the founder of the Young Eagles. A star making a way for over a million boys and girls to test out the galaxies for themselves.

fifty-eleven

2007-09-30T18:37:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is TT's birthday. But we celebrated today. Fourteen around my mother's beautiful table. It was a happy squish.

I made him his favorite, City Chicken. Family recipe from his mom. Actually beef and pork cubes on a skewer, seasoned with salt and pepper, dipped in egg and milk, rolled in saltine cracker crumbs, re-dipped and rerolled, browned in a skillet, then baked in a casserole at 325 for about three hours. You put about a half inch of water in the pan and cover with foil before putting in oven.

All the men at the table LOVED them! Dot made excellent mashed potatoes and gravy. Michelle made a fabby salad. Desert looked tragic, but was a hit. Peanut Butter Three Layer Cake with Reece's Peanut Butter Cups crushed for a filling over the peanut butter icing, between all the layers. (The tragedy was the top of the cake split into thirds!) That with Vanilla Ice Cream on the side.

Wonder why I have a sugar headache now?!!

My special gift to him, besides the meal, was a family membership to the EAA (Experimental Aircraft Association) at the national and local level. The main reason I did a family membership is so TT can take god-son (that's him with TT) to the meetings. EAA does a mentoring program where they work with young boys/men to interest them in becoming pilots. Eventually, god-son will get to go up in one of the planes!!!!

I love my Dot. She is flesh of my flesh and heart of my heart. And, I love our extended family. They are all Christians. The children add so much joy to our lives. Remember how scared I was about accepting this role of god-mother? I got over that!

It's all about being family and making family time top priority.

That's what TT asked for his birthday.

visit

2007-09-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing day yesterday! I actually did a totally social thing. I usually spend Saturdays cleaning and organizing, paying bills and making lists for the week.

I gave myself a gift and drove out to visit Gardenia. I mean really, how many of us bloggers long to be able to meet each other and spend real time together and here we live in the same area!!

Of course, we were friends before we both started blogging. She is a dear, dear soul that inspires me and touches my heart. She is an extremely insightful, compassionate woman with a great, giggly sense of humor! I just love her.

I took out my collection of art books and she shared hers with me. I was in awe looking at her many paintings that are in progress. I have so much to learn. It was like a kindergartner visiting a high school senior! She is very gracious to me.

She also gave me an amazing gift. . . she may not want me to say what, so I won't. But it touched my heart. It is a beautiful gift I will enjoy my entire life.

I LOVE to organize. I found myself giving unasked for advice about a studio room for her. I am so opinionated. But, see, she paints in her eat-in kitchen. However roomy it is, she has to put things up for meals. . . Plus, it would really bug me having people milling around so close to a work in progress. Painting is rather private.

She has this lovely front room with a huge bay window. Lots of light, nice high ceiling, french doors. . . doesn't that scream "ART"?!! So, I want her to extend her kitchen flooring in there, do a "Clean Sweep" and get that room supporting her fabulous talent. She can put in a small window a/c unit, fabulous faux silk draperies from ceiling to floor, pipe in inspiring music and paint away. Close the door on it at meal time and go back after without missing a beat!

I hope she lets me come help her paint walls and make draperies and organize stuff!!

It was a fun day!

report

2007-09-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

TT took her to Dr. She said she thinks it is all hormonal, that Isabella needs to be spayed. Her surgery is this coming Tuesday. They will keep her overnight, then all day Wednesday while we are at work. She will be home with TT on Thursday and hopefully okay by herself Friday.

Also, her eyelashes seem to be laying in her eye again. Though the graft protects her cornea. We had thought the eye problems were behind us. Oi.

I started taking her for walks around our circle on her leash. That is FUNNY!! She walks fast, then just lays down in the street for a rest!

Dr. thinks she won't be depressed once she is spayed. I hope so. I really don't want a double vet bill. Isabella is costly enough!

Not to mention MY dr. bills!

lonely?

2007-09-18T20:00:00.000-07:00

I am worried about Isabella. She is doing much better than last week, but she is still spending a lot of time in her bed. She is eating some, but definitely has lost some weight. She is not upchucking anymore.

Her doc said her blood is fine, no need to be concerned about anything life-threatening. She really perks up when we have company, for a while, at least.

I am going to try taking her for a walk in the mornings now that the weather is so pretty.

I am also thinking about getting her a companion. Yes, another dog. Well, how would you like to be the only human in a dog household, get left alone for hours and the only language you heard was barking and whining? (Okay, don't even go there!!)

I think she may be depressed and lonely. She has never had a dog friend because all my friends and my daughter have these huge dogs who treat Isabella like she is a knat. That would depress me. I hate it when I am feeling invisible!

PS I have a new painting up!

baby shower

2007-09-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

I know I said I had lost weight. . . but there are some things I haven't told you yet. . .Ha Ha Ha!!!! Pregnant NOW??? OMGosh, wouldn't that be something?

Dot, A and I hosted a baby shower for a co-worker. She had made this mold for everyone to sign. Since I had matched her colors, I just couldn't resist trying it on for size! (The baby-in-the-belly part, of course)

We had a great time, lots of friends, food and fun and fabby gifts!

How was your Saturday?

six pounds down!!

2007-09-14T20:59:00.000-07:00

I got a treadmill two weeks ago. Doc's orders for me to walk two miles a day. I am a wimp about weather and can't risk not walking for weeks at a time because of the cold this winter.

I never thought I would like walking inside, but I love it. Maybe because I am such a charts and graphs girl and I can see my progress with mph, heart rate, incline %, calories burned, speed. . . I set little goals. Like I have to burn more calories than the distance I am walking.

If I walk 2.5 miles, then I have to burn more than 250 calories!

I have lost six pounds and I don't know how many inches. Of course, I have slowed down to nearly nothing on the wine or vodka. . . you know that helps. Then if I am not having those refreshments, I don't want late night shnackies, so no calories taken in there, either!

I want to get down to 125. I am down to 133 right now. So, five to eight pounds more and I will be so happy!!

Quote of the day, from Matthew Kelly, "In a sense, the body is like money- a great servant, but a horrible master." I have stopped yielding to it's childish demands and am giving it what it needs! Ha.

devotion

2007-09-14T04:56:00.000-07:00

I painted it. But the words from my devotion today are too rich to not share. May they bless you as they did me. My love to you all. .

The Triumph of the Cross

A huge dynamite blast rips open a mountain. A powerful avalanche rushes down a slope and levels everything in its path. A raging flood drives through a ravine at a furious pace. In each of these scenes we see manifestations of incredible power. Nothing can stand in the way of these forces, and anything that comes into contact with them is overrun. Well, today the church celebrates the Triumph of the Cross. As dynamite, avalanches, and raging floods are three of the most powerful natural forces we know, so the cross of Jesus is the most powerful spiritual force in the universe.

Has any other single act in history won forgiveness for every sin that has ever been committed? Has any other event brought about the complete frustration of the devil’s attempts to control our lives and move us away from God? Was any other event powerful enough to tear the veil that separated heaven from earth and reveal a new and living way to the Father?

Like dynamite, the cross of Jesus has the power to blast away any deeply ingrained pattern of sin in our lives. Like a mighty flood, it can wash all anger, fear, and despair from our hearts. Like an avalanche, it can shower down on us the love of God in a way that destroys any obstacle to his presence. This cross is our way of victory because it points to a new day, a new hope, and a new joy.

How about you? Is there a sin pattern that needs to be exploded? Is there a relationship—perhaps with your spouse or a close friend—that needs healing? Is there an inner voice that constantly reminds you of your past failures and keeps you bound in guilt or hopelessness? Then today is your day. Take your sins, your weaknesses, your failings, and lay them all at the foot of the cross. Then rejoice with the angels and saints, knowing that this cross—radiant and triumphant—can overcome every spiritual, physical, or emotional obstacle to God’s love.

“Jesus, I marvel at the power of your cross. I believe that your death and resurrection have won my complete redemption. With joy, I celebrate the triumph of your cross—even over those situations where I have yet to taste your victory.”

Numbers 21:4-9; Psalm 78:1-2,34-38; Philippians 2:6-11

Dark Hour

2007-09-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

This is for another friend. Dark Hour I am intrigued with the idea of doing more Sacred Art. I have bought some drawing books to keep training my eye, hand and brain!!

After this one, I have a comical one in my head that has made me laugh ever since I "saw" it.

I have decided to start an ART BLOG, and I put the link up. That way this blog can be about regular living and those of you that aren't waiting with baited breath for my next piece of art won't have to feel like you're at a museum!!!

Ha ha ha.

bags too!

2007-09-08T14:37:00.000-07:00

Gardenia got me going with her post on bags. I have quite a bag history!

Twenty years ago, my sister gave me the striped cloth bag Isabella is standing on, in a package of six. She was environmentally conscious then. I rolled my eyes over that part, but the bags appealed to me for a different reason.

When in a car, I cannot stand stuff rolling around on the floor, rattling or making any other noises! I have a bit of an anti-noise fetish. ( Like I hate hearing my husband chew anything when we are watching TV or movies, especially in a dramatic, emotional part.) With the cloth bags, my stuff could travel in silence!

Anyone who travels anywhere with us knows the number one rule is no plastic or paper bags in the car. Those go in the trunk!

My cloth bags have seen a lot of cherished belongings transported to and from this house and loved ones, work, play. . . all in silence!

The green floralish bag is my plastic lined Vera Bradley lunch bag. A good friend gave that to me for my birthday last year! Salon owner called my other bags "Hobo Bags", so I was happy to upgrade my bag image! I take my lunch to work nearly everyday. I like knowing I have my healthy salad, complete with tomato, lentil bean sprouts, avocado, broccoli, celery, garlic and feta waiting for me safe in my VB bag.

I left out of the picture my knitting bags, book bags, beach bag, cosmetic bags (I have one for face, one for body, one for hair, one for makeup), jewelry bags, vitamin bag.

Then we get Isabella, so she had a winter bag and a summer bag for the happy times we take her "bye-bye"! She likes to sleep in her winter bag every now and then. She just started doing that again this past week. . . is she realizing fall is soon to come?

TT took one of the cloth bags for all his meds and snacks and whatever. If we ever get on the road to anywhere, even just to church or a friend's house without his grey striped bag, we turn around to fetch it.

Hmmmm, now that I am painting and learning to draw, looks like I need an artist's bag, too!

Are there other bagaholics out there besides me and Gardenia?

kindergarten

2007-09-04T18:40:00.000-07:00

I am calling this Communion. Painted it for the mother of our god-children. The Sacred Heart of our Lord, present in the Bread and the Wine. I got the perspective backwards on the Bread and it looks kind of moldy. I was trying to create texture so it wouldn't look like a brick!

I actually like the wine bottle. It is a little crooked, but I think that gives it character.

My least favorite is the Cross. I wanted it to look like it was translucent and glowing. And the heart is too muddy of a color. . . I was trying to make it translucent, too.

Okay, I am risking it, but y'all be honest. . . Gardenia has been so sweet. Tutoring me through email. I sent her the almost finished painting, so she did not get to help me create this. She makes me feel like there is hope.

So has Dot. She has amazed me with her sweet enthusiasm. She even tried to help me find a class today. So far, nada.

First sketches from drawing books. Don't know why the picture of the peach sketch is so fuzzy!! hahaha.

Son-in-law brought me over a fabby easel (on loan). So nice to work without wiggle!

struggling

2007-09-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

I took off on Friday. Just to have a "me" day. I set up a little "art studio" space in our "library". I went to the local craft store. Bought a cheesy stand-up easel, because my back is objecting to too much sitting.

And I bought more acrylic paint, more brushes, drawing pads, pencils erasers, books, canvases and such. My daughter is a bit quizzical, though supportive of this "new" interest of mine. I saw something change in her eyes towards me when I showed her my sketch pad that dated back to 1996.

I have wanted to paint for a long time. My problem? I am so impatient. I want to be great instantly. My adult brain knows better. I guess it is the child in me that wants success NOW!

I am aggravated because I have not been able to find any acrylic beginning painting classes. People say, "Just paint." But that is not my belief system. I know I don't know anything about it. I like to learn from masters. I believe they can save me a lot of grief.

Plus, they will make me do what I don't want to do so I am able to do what I long to do. They will force a discipline that I don't even know I need.

My son-in-law said to take drawing classes. Oi. I know he is right. That is boring to me. I love color. It is also intimidating, because I am not a natural at it. But, I just read on Duey's Drawings that drawing is "60% patience, 30% seeing and 10% ability."

What an encouragment! Also tells me I desperately need help with the "seeing" part. So, I will call PJC tomorrow and see if they have any drawing classes since they had no acrylic painting classes.

I have put this part of me on hold for too many years. For about five years, I did not touch it because of my daughter's involvement with an artist. When we went to an art festival together and he rolled his eyes over how "terrible" their art was, I thought to myself I would never make myself vulnerable to his harsh critique.

But today is a new day. I am surrounded with love and support. I have no goals with art. I just want training. I want to see what is in me that has never been released because of no training.

I love color. I love joy. I love humor. I love depth. How does that translate to canvas? I don't know. But I want to.

painting

2007-08-30T20:08:00.000-07:00

Here I go! Off to follow another dream!

I have wanted to paint for a long time. I want to use acrylics.

These are the first two paintings I have done since high school!! Ha ha, isn't this a gas? I am looking for lessons.

Whatcha think?

love

2007-08-20T19:41:00.001-07:00

There wasn't a dry eye watching them dance. Liquid love.

I can watch this ten times and still want to watch it again. So many reasons.

She is beautiful and fragile and strong, too. She is graceful and gentle and delicate. She loves with her whole heart. She picks up on the little things everyone else misses. And she is like a carbon copy of my mother.

He loves her strengths and doesn't see her weaknesses as weak. He holds her close to his heart, yet with plenty of room for her to breathe. He loves her fiercely yet handles her tenderly.

It was a long road to this dance. Many prayers and tears were poured out in the desperation of dark nights for her to escape a toxic marriage and be truly loved.

She is safe now. She is in the arms of love.

doing the wild thing

2007-08-17T21:32:00.000-07:00

Isabella.
Eight months old.
Four pounds.

A female. . . she confuses me!!!

How about you?

confession

2007-08-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time. Spending this time with the Lord revealed some dirty spots in my heart.

I went to 8:00 a.m. Mass yesterday and then to confession with Father Mercy. He spent over an hour with me. His insights were breathtaking.

Some I will keep private. One I must share.

I have this tendency to beat myself up a million times for my sins and errors. I have heard people say that to me. I thought they just did not understand my need to take seriously my wrong ways.

Father Mercy said the same thing. Then in his broken English,

"Haydi, do you realissse tha' God does not even remember your sins?"

"I weel proof it to you from thee Bible."

"Many preachers an' priests use thee Old Testament to make people feel guilty, then point to thee collection plate," he shook his head sadly.

"Thees eez not church, thees eez a business. It eez so wrong."

"Thee Old Testament eez only thee beginning of thee revelation of God. Thee New Testament eez thee fullness of revelation, as Jesus said, 'I have come to fulfill thee Law, I am thee better Covenant'."

"But, eef you look, you will see thee grace of God in thee Old Testament."

Then he told me how the prophet Jeremiah first told the Israelites they were adulterers for following after false gods. It took thirty chapters of God chastising them for their unfaithful, hard, prideful, deceiving hearts for them to repent.

But, they heard Him finally and they returned to their first love, the One True God.

In chapter thirty-one, the same prophet addressed the same people, "Again I will restore you and you shall be rebuilt, O virgin Israel. . . "

"You know, Haydi, an adulterer can never become virgin again. God FORGOT their sin and called them Virgin."

He reminded me of the parable of the Prodigal Son and how the father never referred to his sins, but restored him and gave him all the best of his house.

"And remember thee prostitute tha' Jesus renamed Mary? She never again was a prostitute in His eyes, so much so that she was thee first He revealed Himself to from thee grave."

"So, you see Haydi, you have confessed your sins and He has forgiven you. But more, He has FORGOTTEN. You are Heez daughter."

Oh, my penance? "When your back hurts, offer it up to Jesus an' thank Him for Heez mercy."

Something of the mercy and grace of my Father moved from my head to my heart. Though men never forget my sins and some never let me off the hook, I stand before the Mercy Seat of God a virgin daughter.

Why have I waited so long to go to confession?

P.S. Doing my own research and just found in Hebrews, in a discourse on how the New Covenant makes the Old Covenant obsolete, 8:12 "For I will forgive their evildoing and remember their sins no more." I have had a warped concept of God. He IS MERCY.

presence

2007-07-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

This has been a beautiful week. I have been loved in all directions.

Friends and family have brought over meals, flowers, plants, cards and visited with me.

My good friend L has been going through an amazing journey with the Lord and her walk with Him has helped me come back into His presence. Had I been working, I would not have been available for 2:00 a.m. phone conversations. Her transformation from fearful victim to courageous, joyful overcomer takes my breath away.

She has had incredible, miraculous answer to prayer that has encouraged me back into conversation with the Lord.

I got this new CD by Brian and Jenn Johnson, WE BELIEVE, that has changed the atmosphere of my home into a haven of joy and hope and peace. Mostly, feeling His presence again, softly, tenderly caring for me, healing my weary heart.

I feel rested, renewed (goes with our freshly painted Family Room in Behr green called Shakespeare!), restored. I have been walking about 2 1/2 miles a day, per doc's orders. I take a nap every afternoon!

Our god children come over every night for dinner and games or a movie. When they leave, I usually go to bed, so I am really taking good care of myself.

I have only taken one pain pill and a few Advil. Am taking lots of vitamins, drinking nearly a gallon of water, eating protein again!

Mostly what I have learned is the presence of God is with me, for me, He is my sustainer, I am not alone, He is our provider and He cares about all the tiny details of our lives. He is gently revealing the parts of my heart that have been closed off to Him.

He is gracious and good and He has made my recovery time marvelous. I am so glad now that I was under "house arrest" as I called it!

In the stillness, His presence took me to a place of great peace.

Thank you for all your prayers. As you can see, He hears you!

pruned

2007-07-20T00:30:00.000-07:00

Here it is 2:30 a.m. I should be sleeping. Had to write. Am standing as I write, as I have been instructed to only sit for twenty minutes at a time and to walk, walk, walk.

The drugs from the 11:00 a.m. surgery are beginning to wear off and I have only an ache at the surgical site. NO PAIN down my ravaged leg. The piranha is gone. Thank GOD, a million times.

I worked Tuesday and Wednesday. Honestly, I did not think I would make it. The grace of God, A's fabulous help, and my determination to take care of my fabulous clients. . . I made it through. We did in two days what we normally do in three days.

I am taking off all next week. The doctor wants me off for two weeks. I will be off for eleven days. That is pretty close. And thankfully, my schedule is jammed for the next month.

Dot took me to the surgery center this morning and stayed with me for a while. We had some very good conversation. She made the statement, in reference to cooking a meal after working all day, that she hates stress.

She said, "I don't like myself when I am stressed." Hmmmmmm. I have been thinking about this all day.

I don't like me when I am stressed either. I just have never put it that way. Or stepped back to look at the picture of my stress. Yech. Stress most likely has attacked my back.

See why I love her so? Over the years, she has dropped these simple nuggets of gold that have helped alter my life view.

Today a slipped disk was pruned. And so was an unhealthy response to my full and blessed life.

Good work, docs. . .

decision

2007-07-17T20:09:00.000-07:00

I am giving up my fight and gonna have surgery. I have tried everything natural and conservative to save my back. I am still in very bad pain.

Thursday at eleven in the morning, I will submit myself to a microscopic discectomy, an outpatient one hour surgery. The neurosurgeon is promising an end to all the leg pain. He feels I may have residual back pain, maybe.

I will take off from work until Tuesday, July 30. I have been told to do a lot of walking, that walking heals the back. Cannot sit or lie down any longer than twenty minutes at a time, with the exception of nighttime sleeping.

I am taking lots of Vitamin C and eating more protein.

I had a tonsillectomy at seven, birthed my daughter at twenty-two. Don't frequent hospitals much!

But it is time to get help. I am a little scared, but more relieved.

second shot

2007-07-11T21:54:00.000-07:00

The pain is back. Was improving so much, enough to even cook and do some light things around the house on Saturday.

In the middle of Monday night, I got up and was so happy to realize I was even better. Almost no pain as I walked down the hall and then back to my bed. But Tuesday morning, I was sleeping soundly when my alarm went off and I jerked to answer it. . . Yes, you guessed, I felt the strain immediately.

So yesterday was tough and today at work was even worse. I am okay sitting, but I cannot stand up for ten seconds without the roaring pain all the way down my hip to my ankle.

I called the pain management doc this morning on his cell. He called back at 8:30 tonight. He is going to try to get me in for a second epidural about 7:00 a.m. tomorrow. He leaves for a ten day vacation tomorrow afternoon. Thank God I called today.

I am discouraged. I am really thinking about surgery. I just cannot manage this extreme pain. And to have it get worse over something so simple as turning my alarm off. . . that is just crazy.

So, I need prayers for healing and mercy.

I also need someone to tell my why my Picaso piccys are not showing on previous post? Very irritating.

Of course, everything irritates me right now. Pain sure reveals a yechy side of me. God help me suffer better.

cycles

2007-07-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

Remember how awful I looked April 17 with that terrible hair cut? Mommie called the same groomer because she really is a nice lady. Told her just to shave between my eyes, clean up my feet, pull the hair out of my ears (yowwwwwwwwwwww!) and bath me.

I am much happier with how I look. Some of my bangs have to grow more to get into my pink bow.

Actually, yesterday was a happy and grumpy day. After a visit to the emergency room two weeks ago, an epidural shot and lots of Advil, Mommie's back seems better. She has been drinking a gallon of water a day, sleeping at least nine hours a night and taking her liquid glucosamine/condroitin. She changed beds around and has found the hard guest bed worked better than her soft, memory foam topped bed.

She even cooked dinner for our good neighbors. She had to sit while she was cutting up peaches for her homemade peach cobbler (yumm!), but still, she cooked! She was very pleased with herself. I hope she did not overdo it. She is moving a bit slower today.

The grouchy part of yesterday was that I . . . became a woman. I. . uh. . .er. . . ahem. . . began my female cycle for the first time. My birthday is November 4, so I guess I am a late bloomer. Now Mommie understands why I was growling at all those dogs at the Fourth of July party she took me to.

So, last night, after dinner, I was so excited (blush) that our neighbors brought their boys over to see me!!!!

I tried to tell both of them that I was. . . er. . . available.

Duh. . . they kissed and sniffed.

And I have to admit, I acted a bit forward. . . but. . . grrrrrrrrrrr. . . that was it. A big nothing of a night. Daddy and Mommie made me mad. They kept laughing at me.

How rude and insensitive was THAT? Parents. They just don't get us kids.

pain

2007-06-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

Pain is a great mentor, carving compassion into the soul that once looked upon human suffering with distaste, apathy or pity.

For a full week, my nights and mornings have been a tortured existence. Searing pain rips down my backside, leg, calf and wraps its vicious tentacle around my ankle. I pant like a woman in labor, but eventually I cave to literally crying out. The vice grip is mean, ruthless and domineering.

I am comfortable lying down. I hold my bladder for hours, not wanting to go through the brutality of hanging onto the walls as I wrench myself the ten steps to the bathroom and ten steps back to the comfort of my bed. Isabella is very troubled by me. I try to control my outbursts, but most of the time am overcome and can't.

I finally got an answer yesterday. I have been to the emergency room on Monday, got a new MRI on Tuesday morning and had an epidural steroid injection Tuesday afternoon. I thought that would "fix" me. The doctor had said it takes up to three days for the shot to work. When the pain was just as wicked on Friday morning, I began making calls for help.

I have more than an annular tear, a piece of the disk has popped off and is sitting on my sciatic nerve between L4 and L5. Hence the unending ripping pain. I now have a Monday morning appointment with a surgeon and a second epidural appointment Tuesday afternoon. So, relief should be soon.

Ms. Natural is taking a lot of drugs. I loved the morphine in the E.R. I now understand drug addicts. I was longing for another injection when I woke the next morning. If someone had offered it to me, I would have been on it like a duck on a junebug!

Through the help of drugs, my incredible assistant and the magnificent grace of God, I have been able to work. We did four days work in three as I was off Tuesday for all the procedures. Mornings are beyond difficult, but as soon as I got to work and until the last client left, the pain was manageable. Upon returning home at night, I would collapse and even the pain killers stopped working. But He knows our needs and has given great grace to meet them.

Our neighbors have been so good to us. She has cooked two fabby meals and he mowed our yard. They never asked what could they do. They just did things. Makes me see how pale my love and help has been for people in my life that were going through difficult times.

But Pain's purpose is to indelibly carve compassion into my heart. I have had a lot of Pain. Bad first marriage and divorce, buried my father and my mother, lost a step-daughter to a seemingly hopeless place of unforgiveness, lost half my husband through the stroke and seizures and subsequent loss of his business and his earning potential, two divorces and very costly second wedding of my daughter (happy to say all is well with her and her hubby now!), and some other disappointments and situations where I put misplaced trust. . .

People live with Pain. It has helped me to stop judging, stop looking down my nose. Most of the time. Instead of criticizing, I pray, most of the time.

That is, until TT doesn't bring me my morning food fast enough! (Before you raise your eyebrows at me. . . I can't take any pain meds until I eat and there is no way I could drag myself the twenty-five steps to the kitchen with the pirana biting my leg off.)

God help me live the rest of my life being like our neighbors.

mighty hunter

2007-06-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

I know I am very young, but I take my job as the household mascot and guard dog very seriously. Mommy and Daddy and I were watching "So You Think You Can Dance". Mommy's back is hurting her real bad again, so she was laying on the floor with ice under her booboo.
Daddy was in his chair with his pillows and lots of food in front of him. They had a friend over and her foot was hurting her, so she was laid up on the couch.
Who else could save the family from the danger of the intruder, Slime Roach, but me? I heard his thundering hooves advancing at us from under the couch.
Mommy thought I was looking for a naughty place to tinkle or drop a tootsie roll. When will she ever trust me? "Isabella, come HERE and go potty where you should!" She said it about three times.
I had to ignore her. There was a higher call for me. Do they feed me Mighty Dog for no reason, I thought?
At last, I took the prisoner alive and brought the criminal before my masters.
I thought Mommy was jumping up in fear, but turns out, she wanted to record my militant effort to protect them. Daddy kept saying to take my prey away from me. Grrrrrrr, I wanted to devour the scummy varmit.

Ah, only seven months old, I, a mere young girl of a teacup ShiTzu have shown myself worthy of my Mighty Dog din-din!

P.S. It would really help my hunting if Mommy would get me a haircut!!

summer

2007-06-03T20:52:00.000-07:00

Here we are at a baby shower Saturday. She just had her bath and was feeling pretty cute!

Ha, I gave her a bath and didn't have time to shampoo my own hair!!

I have so many hurting friends. Divorce, neck injury, financial stresses, heartbreak. I am trying to give love and encouragement. I am just thankful TT and I are in a good place right now.

His job is going great. He has sold five sheds in the last couple of weeks. He has his own keys to the place and the owner, our good friend, is entrusting him with more and more responsibilities. We are both very grateful. TT has the potential of making a real income.

Dot and Hubby are very happy. It is so good to see her blossoming. He cut his hair OFF!! It looks great. I think it will help his business. I love lots of hair on men, but it seems to send negative messages in the business/professional world.

Our contractor is in jail. He seems to be going through a come-to-Jesus. Humility is a beautiful thing. We are going to wait for him to come out. How can I judge him? The ground is level at the foot of the Cross.

Hope you all are well. Will be visiting!

Arf, arf, yapp, yap, yaaaaaaap!! (Isabella wanted to say hi, too!)

wedding

2007-05-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

She is married.

May 20, 2007 at 7:00 p.m. on a lovely pier, my beloved daughter walked on the arm of her daddy into the arms of the man who loves her dearly.

It was a beautiful and brief ceremony.

The reception was under a tent on the water. Bride and groom danced magnificently to Moon River and bride and daddy danced to Forever Young by Rod Stewart.

The newlyweds departed on a boat provided by the groom's brother.

They did the whole wedding.

I hosted a small bridal brunch Sunday morning. We had a fun time. She was so happy and relaxed all day.

She had made a lovely headpiece out of vintage netting and beads. It was to sit on top of her head and the veil would just come beneath her nose. She said she wanted me to sweep some hair over the crown area of the headpiece. I had my doubts, but started working with it as directed!

I wasn't feeling it. . . but it wasn't my wedding! I kept encouraging her that when the hairdo was complete, she would love it.

She finally said, "Mom, the headpiece looks like a cake topper and the hair on top looks like a cinnabun!!" I was relieved!

She took apart the headpiece so I would have the netting only to work with. At that point, it started working. I could see the netting nestled into her nape under the big flower she wanted to wear. "I should know Mom, to just tell you how I am feeling and let you create. Those are always the best 'does!"

When I finished, she literally jumped up and down, thrilled with her hair. "It is perfect, just perfect, I just LOVE it!"

The photographer was not there to catch the moment. But we will never forget it.

six months

2007-05-05T02:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Isabella's six month birthday! Even as I write, she is on my lap, watching me type!

We are just goofy-in-love with this dog!

She seems to have recovered from her bad haircut and is enjoying life again, prancing around like the princess she is!

I am gonna take her to Central Bark Bakery for a healthy treat and to see some dog art. They just added an espresso bar for the humans, and Yappy Hour for the canines! Should be a fun treat for her.

I have six more months to plan her Birthday Party!!! Wanna come to it?

prom

2007-04-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

I LOVE hair!! Redid the feathered fauxhawk style on H for her prom. What a beauty! She will have the tallest hair at prom, most likely. She has a black and white color blocked dress, black gloves and dreamy Nina black heels.

Hopefully, I will get the after photos, too!

Please pray for the mother of our god-children. She has a rather serious heart condition that a procedure yesterday was supposed to fix, but she has to go back in 30 days for them to do it again. Apparently, she has had the condition her whole life and it worsened with the stress of her pending divorce.

Started construction on our cosmetic remake of our family room. Yea! I have decided that the room will be a mess for the entire summer. That way, I won't be irritated and angry at our contractor, who is very nice, but
v e r y s l o w!!!

Gonna do Mexican Paver tiles if I can find labor I can afford for installation. I LOVE them. We had them in our Orlando salon. Warm, earthy, lots of texture and variations of color.

Have a fabby weekend!

scalped

2007-04-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

I was so excited. It was Isabella's first appointment to get her hair cut. Okay, to be groomed! I had been carefully combing her hair every other day so she would not get matted.

I chose a groomer that two of my clients use. She was very nice and kind. Isabella really liked her.

I had cut Isabella's hair a bit when she was a couple months old, because it had gotten matted from the collar she had to wear after her surgery. I did a pretty bad job. . . hard to cut such a wiggly client!

I was looking forward to her having a professional cut that would correct the flaws from my attempt.

I showed the groomer this photo in a Shit Tzu magazine. I wanted Isabella to grow into this cut. I am a hairdresser. I like HAIR! There is a reason I did not get a short haired teacup Chihuahua!

Listening. What an art. No wonder I have the success I do as a stylist. I know I miss it sometimes. But I must hit the mark most the time, as thankfully, my book stays slammed.

Can you imagine my shock, when out from the groomer's van comes THIS haircut????

She is nearly bald. She was pathetic for twenty-four hours. Very clingy and sad. Sat on TT's feet today when he was trying to paint our ceilings.

It took five months to grow her to the top photo. It will take a YEAR to get her hair to the long look on the model.

I know, I know, she is still cute and it is gonna be nice in the summer and all that. But she doesn't even look like her own breed.

Arrrgh. Does anyone know a local groomer that specializes in TeaCup Shih Tzu hair cuts?! Help!

2007-04-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

I think it was a roaring success! We were voted Best of Show Booth! The massage girl worked non-stop on models, teaching the benefits of Thai Yoga Massage, Hot Stone Massage, Pregnancy Massage. She brought a lot of positive attention to our booth, which was located at entrance!

No photos yet of me, maybe I can post one later! I felt so goofy, 'cause my hair was curly and I was in a DRESS and HOSE!!!!! Eewwww. I am simply more of a Kat Hepburn type!

TT was our awesome chauffeur, patiently running workers and models to and from salon and Civic Center. Everyone loves him!

I am skipping church this morning, rejoicing over the first day since Tuesday that I could sleep in and stay in my jammies!!

Model

2007-04-13T21:11:00.000-07:00

I love doing Dot's hair. She is so trusting.

"What do you feel like for your hair, Dot?"

"Whatever you want to do, Mom. I just want some green in it."

So, I did a faux-hawk-chignon style. Ran outside and found some palms and voila, there she is!

Isn't she incredible?!

Day One of the Expo is complete. Tomorrow, I entrust my hair to a fellow stylist. I will be at Expo from 9 a.m. til 8 p.m. Then we break it all down, set salon up and collapse in bed.

TT was chauffeure all day. Ran models from salon to Civic Center and back. He made their hard day a bit easier!

Everyone said our booth was the best of show! Hopefully, we will be better known for all our effort.

Expo

2007-04-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow starts the Gulf Coast Women's Expo. I begged our salon owner, R and J, to be in the Expo. We need the exposure. We are the best kept secret in Pcola.

Here I am an Introvert. Do you know what it means to me to be in the midst of five thousand women in the Civic Center for 12 hours? That is like Hell on earth for me. Plus, we are going to wear cocktail attire. So, not only do I have to be contained in a noisy, cold, crowded place, but I have to be uncomfortable in dressy, stiff, scratchy clothes too!!

TT is going to be the driver. Escorting models and workers from the Civic Center to the salon. Parking at the CC is a nightmare. So, we can all park at salon and TT will drive us to the door at CC.

I quit smoking ( AGAIN) last Friday. It lasted until tonight. Just the thought of it all. . . okay, I am a whimp. . . I smoked tonight.

TT got a job. He is working for his best friend. Selling sheds. Not just any sheds, but sheds that stand up to 140 mph winds. Hurricane proof. Just when I was going to do some house renovations and painting. Shut up HG!!!!! This is so AWESOME for TT!! He could make some really great money$$!!

mercy

2007-03-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

Trees used to be some of my best friends. They stood tall, shading me from the sun, fanning me with a cooling breeze. Their only danger was the lightning rod potential!

That was until Ivan the Terrible and Dennis the Menace struck our area. Dennis was a bad hit for us, because a huge branch from one of our neighbor's trees flew over and nearly pierced our family room roof. We still have leaks. Fortunately, we did not file an insurance claim because no one would write us if we had made two claims in two years. TT has tried to fix the leak about twenty times. . . I don't know what is going wrong up there, but I will say I am so OVER having buckets out for every rain storm.

Judging by the care of their home and yard, our neighbors have the appearance of being quite financially undernourished. They have about six trees that in a bad storm would be a threat to both their home and ours. It is all about which way the wind is blowing. Though they cannot pay, they have given us permission to have the trees and tree tops removed.

I got a quote a few months after Dennis of over $4000 to remove the four tree tops in the back. Oi. Since then, their two humongous pine trees that are right next to our carport have died. They would be like Rice Crispies in a storm, snap-crackle-pop.

Dot was over last Monday. I got to telling her all my woes about how I hate our back yard. As we walked out there, I got this urging to take care of those trees NOW!

I started polling my clients, "Do you know any reasonable tree services?"

You guessed it. Today a man came by who was a referral from a client, looked at the whole job, said he would take the four trees in the back, the two dead pines and a very high limb out of the tree in front of our house for $1,375. OMG! Now, this is still a stretch for me, but it is doable. I won't have to take out a loan to do it. I am SO grateful.

I would love to have a neighbor like me. One that would pay for preventing potential damage to my home. But I have to say, that with such an overly reasonable price like that, I feel like God Himself is helping me to love my neighbor as myself.

As soon as the man left, I said to TT, "I am writing my tithe check NOW!!!!!" Give and it shall be given to you, pressed down, running over, shall men give unto you. He is so faithful and caring.

Jennifer Hudson on the Oscars Feb 2007

2007-02-26T19:48:00.001-08:00

Winner

2007-02-21T21:17:00.001-08:00

Here we are world, the next American Idol winner, Lakisha Jones. This girl ROCKS!!!!

Singing Jennifer Hudson's winning song from Dream Girls as good, if not better than Jen, she took the contest by storm. Even Simon said, "I am tempted to say to the other twenty-three contestants to get their airline tickets home. . "

She sings from the depth of a heart that we have never experienced before on AI. With tears streaming our faces, TT and I began dialing to vote for her, but only reached a busy signal.

Her comment, "After years of singing in the church, I may finally get to do what I love", reflects her devotion to Christ ("If I win, I will first thank God Almighty"). In addition, her love for her four year old daughter, whose 4th birthday was tonight and her magnificent, powerful, soul stirring talent catapulted her to the top of the contenders.

I felt for the other girls in the competition. Their faces fell as they witnessed the audience's thundering explosion at the end of Lakisha's compelling performance of "You Will Love Me".

We already do and can't wait to hear more. Sing, beautiful Lakisha, sing on!

Forty-eleven

2007-02-18T21:43:00.000-08:00

February 16 was my forty-eleventh birthday!!! I learned to count from 4D. My friends threw me the funnest party. My beloved family, bestest friends, their children and pets! Food, beverages, fire-pit, pinata, gifts. . . what more could I want?

Dot gave me the fabby leather jacket pictured above. I love three-quarter length sleeves and very open necklines on jackets. She is so generous. TT continues to spoil me daily. He gave me a rather unlimited Starbucks card. How FUN will that be?!

Isabella had major eye surgery two weeks ago. (Her second surgery.) She had an ulcer in her eye, so it was emergency surgery (another word for very expensive!!) to save her eye. She has been in a lampshade collar for two weeks.

I hope I am not being foolish. I could not stand her misery any more today. I took the collar off, bathed her, groomed her and got her hair out of her eyes. She is not scratching at her eyes. She seems so happy to be free from her mobile prison.

She is still under two pounds though 15 weeks old. I tried to get her to be still on TT's shoulder for a photos shoot so I could compare her from week 7. I do believe she has grown a good bit.

Sorry to be so busy and such a bad blogger friend. I keep thinking I will get time to visit. . . Oi!

promises

2007-02-04T19:38:00.000-08:00

My friend asked me and TT to be god-parents to her two children B (7 yr old boy) and D (4 yr old girl). She is a new friend, sister to S, who has been a major part of my life for the past year. Sister just moved here in December.

I love her and adore her children. They all love God and are true blue people. I don't want to disappoint them. I have a habit of that. I seem to make promises and then forget I have made them.

Like I have another friend and when she and her son were confirmed, I know he had picked another couple to be his god-parents, but cannot remember if he also had picked us, too. I know we love him dearly.

TT and I got busy with buying a house, remodeling, moving, etc, etc, etc. . . and slowly, we let them drift out of our lives.

Then there are all the kids that used to live next to us in the country. The two older ones call me about twice a year for me to do their hair (at special friend's rate!). I love hearing from them. They don't have a phone at home, no cell phone, no way for me to stay in touch.

The little kids have a more tragic story. Their parents divorced and their mother has been running with an ex-con with a violent record. The kids have lived in about five different places and of course, no phone numbers. Why am I not hunting them down? My own life gets so crowded. What a pathetic excuse.

Then there is my newest child commitment, my god-daughter, child of my best friend from high school. They used to live in England. This fall they moved to North Carolina. How many cards, notes or letters have I sent her? Oi. I am embarrassed.

Now, we do chat on phone every so often. Thankfully, she just got her own email address. I do well with email. She just told me what a good god-mother I am. For what?

So, now, there are two more lives looking to me/us. Right now, I am present with them. How do I know I will do this one differently and stay present?

All I know is this, I am very thankful that God is not as forgetful or preoccuppied as I am, that He never forgets me or forgets His promises to me. I pray He helps me be more like Him.

january

2007-01-31T15:18:00.000-08:00

A year ago, I began blogging. I wrote nearly every day. I spent a lot of time reading blogs, making new friends in Cyberspace. What has changed?

WORK: The move to the new salon has been so positive. However, it has taken loads of time. I think this coming weekend may be the first weekend I will not be doing something work-related since before Thanksgiving. My room is nearly complete with the exception of my tortoise shell bamboo blinds arriving and being hung. I will be posting photos later!
I actually went in last Monday and had a Raindrop massage, which means she used the Young Living Essential oils on my spine. It detoxifies at a very deep level. She incorporates a lot of reflexology. It was a fabby experience.
The owner and I have been spending a lot of time planning advertising for print and in special events. I love how proactive he is. He seems to be a talent magnent. Our staff is continuing to grow with top-notch professionals.
I have slept the whole night undisturbed since December 22 when I moved out of old salon. Does that make the prior place bad? No. It was just time for me to move on.

TT: He has been working painting the new salon. That is, when he is not being Mr. Mom running our household and caring for Isabella. He is a very good "dad"!

DAUGHTER: As of Christmas morning, Dot and Boyfriend are engaged. I can now use the "F" word when referring to him. (Fiance!!) I was over the boyfriend thing. They were meant for each other. She is so happy. So is he. So are we!
She is nurturing a huge crop of wildflowers for their May 20 wedding. Their kitchen looks like a green house with boxes and boxes of tender shoots stretching towards the window for sustanance from Mr. Sun!
She told me this wedding was not mine to spend a dime at. I appreciate that response. My only sorrow is F has never been married and it would have been so nice to have him be the recipient of my splashy generosity on the last wedding. Drat. . .

ISABELLA: How is it we could be so silly in love with such a tiny package? She weighed a big 1.5 pounds at her ten week checkup. She is now twelve weeks and is about 75% housebroken. She is very smart and very dear.
She had to have her eyelids tacked up because the lashes were poking her eyes. She may have to wear this horrid collar to keep her from scratching the stitches out until she has matured enough to have actual surgery to reform her deformed eyelids. What misery for her. She has already knocked one stitch out. . .
Isabella now sleeps with me (TT sleeps in his chair). I confused her for my little travel alarm clock this morning and woke up to realize I was tapping her on the head as though she was the snooze button!

FAMILY: One of my sisters had a health emergency that was a dreadful scare, but ended up not life-threatening. As my eldest, I think of her a lot like my mom. . . she has always been there. I am grateful she is okay.

FRIENDS: Our friend with the lung cancer who had the double lung transplant slipped into eternity Friday, January 12. What a sad, sad loss. They all fought hard. She is a remarkably brave woman. She is strong and fragile.
Our friends F and S had her sister move in with her two children, 7 and 4. They asked us last night to be the childrens' god-parents. We love these kids. Help them with homework, take them to church, play and pray with them. I said yes. Made me feel very badly what a rotten god-mother I am to KE's daughter. I have a hard time with long distance relationships. KE and her dot are in NC now. I must work on this weakness.

FAITH: We continue to love our Catholic Church and are now considering our response to the Lenten season. F and S will be confirmed at Easter Vigil Mass. That is exciting.

TV: Yes, we are American Idol junkies! There goes two nights a week. Then there are the football games, which take us over to F and S's house. Great b/c I can play with the children. But, bad for blogging.

So, there is the catch up on why I do not spend much time in cyber-space! I am hoping for a lull in the action so I can return to visiting my friends. Love you all!

devotion

2007-01-13T09:15:00.000-08:00

I had to post this. I need this message every day. God help me to be this honest with myself.

The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword . . . it is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)

What a pleasure it is to use a set of sharp, new kitchen knives! At first you may fear accidentally cutting yourself, but you soon discover that the right instrument makes it much easier to prepare the evening meal. You don’t have to exert your strength to tear apart meat or vegetables, so you’re less tempted to put your fingers in harm’s way.

How many of us make use of the Word of God in this way? Do we read its stories reflectively, placing ourselves into the situation and testing our reactions?

For example, with whom do we honestly identify in today’s gospel (Mark 2:13-17): the sinners who flocked to Jesus’ table, or the religious critics who found them embarrassing and inconvenient? Would we be able unhesitatingly to lay aside our work in response to an invitation like the one Jesus gave Levi?

What motivates our actions? Dare we allow the Spirit to penetrate our hearts, exposing roots of greed, glory-seeking, envy, or cold duty where we would prefer to see ourselves as motivated by prudence, self-esteem, truthfulness, or love?

It can be frightening to realize that we can hide nothing from God. But it can also be very liberating. We don’t have to waste energy pretending to be someone we are not. God knows us through and through, and he still loves us unconditionally. He offers us forgiveness for sin and the power to be transformed.

The same Word of God that reveals our deepest thoughts and intentions also reveals to us the face of the Son of God, who was fully aware of what he was doing when he called Levi and sat down at table with other sinners. He is a powerful and sympathetic high priest who understands our every burden and temptation.

So put aside fear, and tap into God’s great mercy. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

Jesus, Word of God, I invite you to search my heart and know my thoughts. I come to You just as I am, eager to encounter You just as You are, full of compassion and life-changing power.

Psalm 19:8-10,15; Mark 2:13-17

wierd

2007-01-08T12:45:00.000-08:00

Six Wierd Things About Me

(THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the "six weird things about you" blog post. People who get tagged need to write their own six weird things post and state the rules clearly. At the end of the post tag six more people and don’t forget to leave a comment on their blog to tell them they have been tagged and tell them to read your blog.)

1.My forearms and calves are VERY short even though I am 5'8". Always have to hem jacket sleeves and pull my seat forward in car.

2. I have to have five small pillows to be able to sleep. Tempurpedic curved one for neck/head. One between my knees and one under my waist to keep my back aligned. One at chest between my arms to keep my back comfy. And finally, one under my right wrist/hand so the carpal tunnel does not flare up.

3. I have to sleep in pitch dark. I wear a black velvet tempurpedic sleep mask. Makes for a lot of peace in a well-lit world!

4. My childhood was wierd - my maiden name was Ralph, my parents were atheists, my knees are knock, my teeth were buck, I wore tortoise shell rimmed glasses and my mother made my clothes (when minis were in style, my homemade dresses were to my knees- eeewwwwwe) they were into healthfood, so I had carrot strips and pumpkin seeds when all my friends had Fritos and Hostess Twinkies!

5. I get really paniced and smothered feeling if I don't get time alone, but give me a glass of wine and I want to be with all my friends!

6. I hate clutter, but I make it every where I go. I am constantly picking up after myself. WHY do I have so much STUFF?????

I tag:

TT
Gardenia
Pup
Jada's Gigi
David T
Sandi

almost!

2007-01-07T20:24:00.000-08:00

I have moved in and worked there for one week.

I could load you down with endless details. Like decorating slowdowns and such. I wanted to move in and have my room all perfect. You know, so I could have the big "TaDaaaaaaaaaaaa" and beam with pride.

But, we are still painting trim, waiting for bamboo shades, shelves, my aromatherapy timer. The new shampoo room chairs have not arrived, the washer/drier is not yet installed. . . oi!

For one week, I have slept through the night each night. Slept like a baby. For one week, even though I work nearly as hard as the holidays, I am not worn to a frazzle at the end of the day.

It is a happy place. Not perfect. But happy and respectful. I feel it. My assistant feels it. Dot has felt it for the four months she had been there. And most importantly, my clients feel it.

Truly, HAPPY New Year!

Holiday Party

2006-12-30T05:57:00.000-08:00

First time Dot held her and Boyfriend got to see her.
She was the hit of the party.
Interesting how grown-ups melt
at the sight of this teeny, beautiful puppy!
She is still waking 2 -3 times a night.
TT said he has heard her actually bark twice!
She is going to have a very yappy bark.
We will just have to do a really
good job with training her.

Whatcha doing for New Year's Eve?

Isabella

2006-12-27T15:33:00.000-08:00

December 26, 2006 at 1:00 p.m. our lives changed forever!!!! OMG, we were both petrified when we arrived near Baton Rouge, Louisiana (a mere 250 mile drive!) to behold our Bella.

She is so tiny, it is staggering to think of caring for her. When she barks, she sounds like a squeaky toy. She nearly mews. When she bends in her food dish to get a bite, her hind end comes up in the air; she looks like she is performing in a circus doing a handstand! She is very expressive with her paws. Tim was certain last night he had already taught her to shake hands!

We have been watching the Dog Whisperer's DVD so we will know how to properly train her. Sad to see how we have done it all wrong with every dog we had.

She has definitely bonded to both of us. She loves being curled up in our necks. She finds TT's unshaved holiday face very interesting to lick. Her tongue is as smooth as a baby's bottom, so I am sure he feels like sandpaper to her! Fun to hear him giggle!

I made the little papoose today, because I had errands to run and she cannot bear to be in a basket, cage or bag (Dot got me a fancy designer doggie carrier purse for Christmas!). As soon as I pop her in the papoose, she snuggles in and stops squeaking/mewing!

While I was getting my manicure, she curled up in the papoose, stuck her head inside and slept!

Puppy love. . . she definitely has grabbed our heartstrings!

So, did you all have a Merry Christmas? More on that later!

P.S. After having her for a couple of days, I have decided she is too fancy for a simple name, so am calling her by her full given name, Isabella! She likes it better, too!

food

2006-12-24T20:16:00.000-08:00

Traditions can anchor us to the joyful memories of past family gatherings. I shared our tree trimmings. Tomorrow we will all have stockings. Yes, that's right, the four of us adults have to have stockings hung by the armoire with care. . . filled to overflowing! TT and I since becoming Catholic have been going to the 4:00p.m. Mass. Our Bishop is officiates that service and we would not miss being in his nurturing presence.

My Christmas brunch is a tradition. Every year, I may add something new, but there are certain foods that must be on the table.

Tonight, the table is set and much has been prepared for tomorrow's feast. The traditional dishes are:

Holiday Strata- a breakfast casserole of french bread cubes, milk, eggs, cheese, sausage and spices. Baked it becomes a crusty, cheesy delight, the breakfast version of a great macaroni and cheese. I hope my family does not notice the veggie/soy sausage! I am making exception to my vegetarian, no-dairy lifestyle for Christmas Day, but I just cannot eat dead rotting animal. My eldest sister actually introduced our family to the Breakfast Strata. Over the years, we had many happy gatherings at her home. So this anchors me to my childhood.

Cranberry Kuchen with fresh Whipped Cream- An orange flavored single layer "cake" topped with cranberries cooked in sugar and orange juice, then baked. Oh my, it is a tangy, delicious morning sweet.

Texas Caviar- moving to the lunch side of brunch is this great salsa type dip for tortilla chips made of black eyed peas, chopped tomatoes, avocados, green onions, white corn, cilantra, red wine vinegar and more.

Fresh Fruit Tray- lovely assortment of fruits. This year, I am adding Devonshire Cream as a slightly sweet dip. I'll let you know if that makes it to the "Traditions" list or not. Devonshire Cream is something else my eldest sister made for me, served with scones and tea, of course.

Veggie Tray- I may be the only one who eats brocoli, cauliflower, carrots and celery on Christmas Day, but I have to have something out of the garden daily. I am adding red, yellow, orange and green peppers for color and a store-bought (horrors!) Ranch Dip to the platter tomorrow. Maybe the Ranch will help more of the veggies to be eaten.

Mimosas- A client gave me a lovely bottle of champagne and I have freshy, pulpy orange juice or cranberry juice to top off the stemmed glass of sparkly.

Asssorted homebaked cookies, fudges and candies- Ha! This year, they are all from my caring friends/clients. With "The Move Out of Salon", I hardly have had time to sleep, much less bake.

Pumpkin Pie with fresh Whipped Cream- usually a mere leftover from Christmas Eve dinner, this year I baked the pie just for Brunch. I made one for Thanksgiving and Boyfriend loved it. TT has always bragged on my Pumpkin Pie so when Boy loved it, TT and I decided he was a keeper! More later on his other attributes.

Assorted crackers, cheese balls, dips- again a cheese ball and homemade pepper jelly over creamed cheese were gifts.

Hot Coffee with fresh whipped cream- that is a yummy, fun tradition. Feels so luxurious to plop that cream into the steamy cup and watch it slowly melt.

Hot Tea- my sister has been a tea drinker for years. I have just begun to love the ritual of tea. I usually have a pot both morning and evening. Herbal only, as I am caffeine intolerant.

Lemon Water- Nothing can be plain on Christmas morning, not even the water!

The Kids will arrive at 11:00. We will probably take four hours (or more) to leisurely eat, talk, laugh, and open gifts. We open everything ONE AT A TIME! Every gift has a story.

That is another tradition. . .

Merry Christmas to all!

out

2006-12-23T16:44:00.000-08:00

Last night, with the help of TT, Dot, Boyfriend, Assistant and Friend, I am moved out of the old salon. All my "stuff" is at the new salon, waiting for me to organize. I start work again January 2.

The last few weeks were so tough that I felt no sadness moving out. I will miss my close friends a lot. And I will miss the general comraderie I felt with the whole staff. Sadly enough, I am thankful to be away from Owner. He made sure he was as unloveable as possible. Funny, he had said, "You want to leave hating me." I didn't want to.

I still don't. I just feel very, very sorry for him. Always the victim. And always the hero. In his eyes. For the sake of Christian ethic, I won't put into print how he is seen. His hold over his staff is fear. He really showed his colors with my co-worker who got kicked out because after offering him a five-week notice, he demanded she sign a nine-week contract or leave.

That move lost him five weeks of rent and his respect level plummeted into sub-zero.

I don't give up on people very easily. Most of the time, I could see the good in him and even focus on it. I don't believe he premeditatively injures people. He just does. His acid, sarcastic, sexist remarks sting deeply. He laughs and thinks he is so funny. He only amuses himself.

After ten years, I had to admit that he just is not going to change. And the environment was just too toxic. I have to work hard. And I am going to have to work for many years. So why set myself up for unneccessary stress?

Onward to New Salon! New Owner (R from now on!) took all of his staff, including Assistant and me and our spice (plural for spouse??)to a resort. We stayed in elegant condos, had a beautiful "Evening in Tuscany" themed dinner and open bar and brunch the following morning. Our cost? Tipping the valet attendants!!

On top of that, R read the most touching meditation to us from the Old Testament and a devotional about knowing the Blessings that are from God. Dot, Assistant and I were very teary. R knows how to nurture. He understands his power as the owner, that he is like a father and his troups need his affirmations, his blessing, his enthusiasm, his compassion, his leadership.

He still loves doing hair. The salon is a huge part of his life, like it is for the rest of us. He even says, when he has been able to solve a problem for us, "Who's your daddy???" What love.

I know who my Daddy is. He has undergirded me all my life. He led me to Old Salon and blessed my socks off there. And now, He has led me on to New Salon. I feel like my weary and very lonely soul will be healed by being in the company of this caring leadership.

Hope burns very bright in my heart.

I read tomorrow Hebrews 10:5-10. Thanks be to God for all.

clown

2006-12-19T20:09:00.000-08:00

I want my mommy and daddy to come pick me up.
I am tired of waiting.
So, I am going to be as cute as I know
how so they won't be able to resist me.
Besides, this wire cage is hard on my
teeny teacup feet.

Puppy

2006-12-15T21:01:00.000-08:00

I had to take a photo of a photo 'cause I do not know how to transfer a photo from an email to Picaso, but here she is. We pick her up a couple days after Christmas. Hopefully, we will have most the salon work/painting/move complete so I will have a few days with her before I have to return to work.

We are so excited to have a new baby in our family. She is a Teacup Shih Tzu. As of this photo, she is about 7 weeks old. She will weigh 5 pounds at full adult.

We are naming her Isabella Antoinette.

Isabella is Spanish for consecrated to God.

Antoinette is Latin for priceless.

We are calling her "Bella".

Can you believe it? Hehehehe. She is just too cute.