pain

Pain is a great mentor, carving compassion into the soul that once looked upon human suffering with distaste, apathy or pity.

For a full week, my nights and mornings have been a tortured existence. Searing pain rips down my backside, leg, calf and wraps its vicious tentacle around my ankle. I pant like a woman in labor, but eventually I cave to literally crying out. The vice grip is mean, ruthless and domineering.

I am comfortable lying down. I hold my bladder for hours, not wanting to go through the brutality of hanging onto the walls as I wrench myself the ten steps to the bathroom and ten steps back to the comfort of my bed. Isabella is very troubled by me. I try to control my outbursts, but most of the time am overcome and can't.

I finally got an answer yesterday. I have been to the emergency room on Monday, got a new MRI on Tuesday morning and had an epidural steroid injection Tuesday afternoon. I thought that would "fix" me. The doctor had said it takes up to three days for the shot to work. When the pain was just as wicked on Friday morning, I began making calls for help.

I have more than an annular tear, a piece of the disk has popped off and is sitting on my sciatic nerve between L4 and L5. Hence the unending ripping pain. I now have a Monday morning appointment with a surgeon and a second epidural appointment Tuesday afternoon. So, relief should be soon.

Ms. Natural is taking a lot of drugs. I loved the morphine in the E.R. I now understand drug addicts. I was longing for another injection when I woke the next morning. If someone had offered it to me, I would have been on it like a duck on a junebug!

Through the help of drugs, my incredible assistant and the magnificent grace of God, I have been able to work. We did four days work in three as I was off Tuesday for all the procedures. Mornings are beyond difficult, but as soon as I got to work and until the last client left, the pain was manageable. Upon returning home at night, I would collapse and even the pain killers stopped working. But He knows our needs and has given great grace to meet them.

Our neighbors have been so good to us. She has cooked two fabby meals and he mowed our yard. They never asked what could they do. They just did things. Makes me see how pale my love and help has been for people in my life that were going through difficult times.

But Pain's purpose is to indelibly carve compassion into my heart. I have had a lot of Pain. Bad first marriage and divorce, buried my father and my mother, lost a step-daughter to a seemingly hopeless place of unforgiveness, lost half my husband through the stroke and seizures and subsequent loss of his business and his earning potential, two divorces and very costly second wedding of my daughter (happy to say all is well with her and her hubby now!), and some other disappointments and situations where I put misplaced trust. . .

People live with Pain. It has helped me to stop judging, stop looking down my nose. Most of the time. Instead of criticizing, I pray, most of the time.

That is, until TT doesn't bring me my morning food fast enough! (Before you raise your eyebrows at me. . . I can't take any pain meds until I eat and there is no way I could drag myself the twenty-five steps to the kitchen with the pirana biting my leg off.)

God help me live the rest of my life being like our neighbors.

mighty hunter

I know I am very young, but I take my job as the household mascot and guard dog very seriously. Mommy and Daddy and I were watching "So You Think You Can Dance". Mommy's back is hurting her real bad again, so she was laying on the floor with ice under her booboo.
Daddy was in his chair with his pillows and lots of food in front of him. They had a friend over and her foot was hurting her, so she was laid up on the couch.
Who else could save the family from the danger of the intruder, Slime Roach, but me? I heard his thundering hooves advancing at us from under the couch.
Mommy thought I was looking for a naughty place to tinkle or drop a tootsie roll. When will she ever trust me? "Isabella, come HERE and go potty where you should!" She said it about three times.
I had to ignore her. There was a higher call for me. Do they feed me Mighty Dog for no reason, I thought?
At last, I took the prisoner alive and brought the criminal before my masters.
I thought Mommy was jumping up in fear, but turns out, she wanted to record my militant effort to protect them. Daddy kept saying to take my prey away from me. Grrrrrrr, I wanted to devour the scummy varmit.

Ah, only seven months old, I, a mere young girl of a teacup ShiTzu have shown myself worthy of my Mighty Dog din-din!

P.S. It would really help my hunting if Mommy would get me a haircut!!

summer

Here we are at a baby shower Saturday. She just had her bath and was feeling pretty cute!

Ha, I gave her a bath and didn't have time to shampoo my own hair!!

I have so many hurting friends. Divorce, neck injury, financial stresses, heartbreak. I am trying to give love and encouragement. I am just thankful TT and I are in a good place right now.

His job is going great. He has sold five sheds in the last couple of weeks. He has his own keys to the place and the owner, our good friend, is entrusting him with more and more responsibilities. We are both very grateful. TT has the potential of making a real income.

Dot and Hubby are very happy. It is so good to see her blossoming. He cut his hair OFF!! It looks great. I think it will help his business. I love lots of hair on men, but it seems to send negative messages in the business/professional world.

Our contractor is in jail. He seems to be going through a come-to-Jesus. Humility is a beautiful thing. We are going to wait for him to come out. How can I judge him? The ground is level at the foot of the Cross.

Hope you all are well. Will be visiting!

Arf, arf, yapp, yap, yaaaaaaap!! (Isabella wanted to say hi, too!)