Sad

I lost my mother in 2000. October 5, 2000. I wanted everyone to remember that date. To call me and commiserate. They did not. I learned that people just don't remember what does not hurt them personally.

I have never really gotten over losing her. I don't cry often. But my heart aches for her. I want to hear her voice. Part of my solice was my mother in law.

Bebop. Mother of twelve. Grandmother of sixty. YES, sixty. I lost count how many regular granchildren and how many great grandchildren. Does it really matter?

More, what matters is they all want to be with her. If they drive home from college, she is on the top five most important stops.

She prays. She laughs. She cooks. She bakes. She tells cute jokes. She listens. She listens. And she loves, loves, loves, loves all her family. She has been our matriarch, our rock, our gatherer, our joy, our strength.

We just found out the severe pain that has reduced her to tears for three months is cancer in her spine. The doctors give her six months. She is 81 1/2. Otherwise so healthy.

She walks, takes vitamins, eats healthy, gets her rest, works, loves and gives. She prays, plays and is totally amazing. WHY WHY WHY????????

It is sad, sad, so very sad news we all face. She has taught me so much. Like the most important thing in life is having babies and LOVING them. Being present in the moment, being WITH them.

Because of her, I have seven godchildren. I would have stopped at one (Ally), if it had not been for her. But she showed me that a woman can deeply love many children. So, I have seven-

Ally, 14

Billy, 10

Debbie, 7

Abigail, 6

Isabella, 4

Laura Sophia, 3

Nicholas, 5 months

And, I have two grand children, Sheraya, nearly 14 and Lana, 8. I await children from my daughter Eliana. And I don't know what technical relationship I will have with Benjamin, the son of my assistant and dear friend.

I pray that who Bebop is will morph through me so that all these children will know a love that will bolster them through all the hours of their lives.

I LOVE YOU BEBOP, Elizabetta, Grande Dame of La Bella Leonessi.