Clean

You just never know what will set me off these days! Got up Friday morning after Thanksgiving and it was a beaut of a day. Clear, blue skies, breezy and balmy. I was planning on knitting and resting. . .

TT likes the house all closed up. I hate it. I love the curtains OPEN and the windows OPEN. Well, when I started slinging curtains and windows, I saw. . . I mean I really saw. . . IT.

Where does dirt come from? I mean, black nasty dirt? I was so shocked to really see how dirty my window treatments were. My white curtains looked like they had gone for a ten mile trek over the Pensacola News Journal. They were disgusting.

Now, in our back room, the Family Room, we only have twenty-two windows and a sliding glass door. Yeah, so with the white shears and the red burlappy over curtains, there is fabric for twenty four windows. (The math is not working because half the windows are in the library wing of the room and they have bamboo blinds that I painted barnyard red!)

Add to that pile of fabric the curtains in TT's den, in the front parlor and my bathroom. . . as you can imagine, I washed all day long.

TT vacuumed. The kind of move-all-the-furniture vacuuming. The water from our Rainbow vacuum looked like a furry mud puddle!

Amazing how good the house feels and how clean the window treatments are. They are nearly sparkling.

The other part of "clean" is sad. I had to give Biscuit back to Daughter. I love that cat and have had the joy of taking care of her for a year. But my lungs/sinuses have been letting me know loud and clear that her dander and hair are toxic to them. After coughing all night since letting her back inside, I had to concede.

I am fifty years old and I cried over losing the daily pleasure of her company. My heart just hurt. TT was so good to her. He would sit with her out on the porch on the nights when the neighbor's (demon) cats came into our yard and attacked her. I mean, he would sit there a couple of HOURS!

So, our house is clean. And frightfully quiet.

P.S. I am already researching teacup dogs that do not shed. I just don't like life without a pet. (And we cannot have an outside cat because of the demon cats across the street.) Any suggestions?

Jax

I am making red beans and rice, collard greens and salad for our friends after church today.

Read newspaper. Full of bad news for Florida between insurance and taxes. We all are concerned.

My daughter has a saying that if your troubles can be solved with more money, you don't really have any problems.

Haven't been blogging much. Checked out Dollface, Pup and then 4D's. I haven't stopped crying.

I have only been blogging eleven months. Sometime's 4D's content was over the top for me, but I could never get past his heart. He is a good, good man. Gifted writer and story teller. Simply silly sense of humor that sends me into shoulder shaking giggles!

It wasn't til Jax took over his blog for a bit that the picture came together. This is not a man that hopes his daughter loves and respects him. She carries him in her heart, she adores him. Caz adores him. They all get each other, love each other, fight for each other. It is a beautiful portrait.

Now I have them in my own heart. TT and I sit around and talk (all good!!) about the three of them, laugh over their quips and quotes and quirks. They are our friends. Just haven't gotten to break bread together yet.

How would I be feeling if my baby was facing such a major surgery and if the result of it meant she had to put her passion on the shelf? I am sure 4D would take her place on that surgery table if he could.

Love. As his heart burst with joy and pride in her magnificent victories, it now breaks in agony as she faces this operation.

He does not weep alone.

But I have a place to take my tears. To the throne of grace and mercy. And the Father of all Fathers will be present, He will protect Jax, He will comfort 4D and Caz, He will guide the hands of the surgeons, He will heal and she will rise again.

And our mourning will be turned to rejoicing.

Phooey

I must be so hormonal. Or have a huge sinus infection.

Have had a dull headache for two weeks. Poor TT. He can't say anything right. Everything gets under my skin.

I have a painful corn 'tween my baby and next toe. Now, before you fall off your chair laughing at me, take a thumbtack and stick it 'tween your toes and walk like that for a month and see if you don't get a bit pissy over it!

TT was supposed to buy me corn removers last week. . . they never made it home. Limp, limp, limp. I am sure that helps my back heal.

My homeowner's insurance went from $800 a year to $4900 a year. No typo. That is nearly five THOUSAND dollars. No, we do not live in a mansion. Honestly, we are in a borderline neighborhood. . . could slide into the dumps or could continue fixing up. Nice our present governor urged us to vote in tomorrow's elections so our next governor would continue preventing insurance fraud. Grrrrrrr, I have HAD it with shrubbery in the capitols.

In shopping for a new insurance company, the first question they ask, "Do you have a swimming pool?"

You know where this is going. I feel like a moron. Invited all of you to our initiating pool party next summer. I don't have egg on my face (now that I am vegan), I have dirt on my face!!! From digging a hole so I can hide my embarrassed self.

This whole money thing is getting me down. I just can't make it fast enough.

So, today, I went shopping! Seriously, I don't know what happened to any tops with sleeves but my closet is full of tank tops. Ah-hem, it is getting cold here! So, I found a few things. TT, my ever present enabler, "Hattigrace, clothing is an investment to you, it is absolutely a tool for your profession."

WHAT did I do to deserve someone so sweet? Of course, he has always been like that, so no small wonder we have no retirement. My part is coming up with the latest HAVE TO to spend money on. Like that horrible above ground swimming pool that TT just hauled out to the road to be picked up by the trash so it would not count against us when the new insurance inspector pays us a visit.

And the thing I am struggling with the most is for ten years I have worked at this salon. For ten years the owner has been an arrogant, sarcastic, money-grubbing short-man's-personality. We have butted heads a million times. So I accept he is who he is and I do not want to be subjected to his ways any longer.

In preparing to move, I pray for the new salon and for the old one. Last week, the owner of the old one went on a retreat with his daughter. He came home changed. Have actually had two conversations with him that he did not utter one sarcastic, caustic, demeaning word.

Now I am leaving. And he begins a beautiful change. The place will never be the same. His effect on those girls lives will be amazing. I wish I could be there to see it. Too bad. I have given my word.

And of course, the move is costing me. Way more than I imagined. The new people are great, don't get me wrong. But see, I have created another HAVE TO cause. Another place to pour out a few thousand dollars.

I did not want to be poor and old. Old is bad enough, but poor, too?

So, phooey. That is just how I feel. Man, I need an endorphin high. And a prayer high. I am just in this miserable faithless low. I will come out. Because the Father's hand will pull me out. At least I am sipping tea and not smoking. Sober. Sometimes it hurts.

I bet you bloggers are lined up for miles to read this encouraging post!