Last night I met a woman who changed my life. Much needed change.
I was sitting outside BoneFish when Mary joined me. "Beautiful weather, isn't it?" I thought to myself she was incredibly cheerful, as it was hot and humid with only a breathe of a breeze.
She was visiting here from Iowa. It was her first trip to Florida, in her life!! We chatted about her plans, her family and she told me she is 87. She looked at least ten years younger. Her eyes were bright and kind, she was uncomplicated and articulate.
She told me she had retired from banking in 1986 and was so bored. "I just love people and sitting at home is not for me." The bank called her, inquiring if she would like to come back to work. "Only if I can work full-time," she responded.
"That was in 1996. Do you know I am still the bank receptionist today, working full-time? Why, I just love it! And you know what? I can tell you love people like I do!"
So, what was I thinking? Yes, I love my time off and puttering around my house, busy with projects and entertaining. . . but I would go out of my mind doing that full-time! I have been so stressed over trying to get enough money saved so I could quit working in ten years. I have been angry and resentful that I have to work. I have been utterly miserable in my soul. Fighting against my circumstances, yet knowing my husband will never be able to conquer the world (like he once could and did) and bring home a fortune. Small wonder my poor back has been out of whack, huh?
Mary's joyful enthusiasm for her WORK mirrored my immaturity and ingratitude. My new goal is to be the world's oldest and most successful hair stylist! I want to be like Mary, 87, working and in love with life! I will still keep funding my IRA. . . but with God's grace, it will only be a cushion for the unexpected.
The fight is over. I am at peace. What a relief!
Woven chignon on Dot for one of her dressy occassions. I love working on her hair!
Dot was attending a VIP wedding with Boyfriend. . . kind of their first "official" statement of their relationship to the local community. 
Dot's best friend. A french braid does not have to be Hee Haw casual!
July 1, 2006
Mary
at 1:44 PM
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18 comments:
Arent old people the best?! They're so sweet and so wise, how could you not love them?
And because they have lived full lives, they so totally know what they are talking about.
Which makes me so glad to see that you're taking Mary's advice to heart!
Though, it may not be easy being the oldest and best hairdresser in the world, I think in the long run it will all be worth it.
I mean, just look at the amazing creations you can do with hair right now! Imagine how much more fantastic your hairstyles will become over time...
Mary sounds amazing...it is not coincidence that you met her...
It's interesting how you made the connection between your attitude towards work, and the problems with your back.
In her book, You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay says that: "The BACK represents our support system. Problems with the back usually mean we feel we are not being supported. Too often we think we are only supported by our job or by our family or spouses. In reality, we are totally supported by the Universe, by Life itself.
The upper back has to do with feeling the lack of emotional support...the middle back has to do with guilt. All that stuff that is in back of us. Are you afraid to see what is back there, or are you hiding what is back there? Do you feel stabbed in the back? Do you feel real "burnt out?" Are you finances in a mess, or do you worry about them excessivley? Then your lower back may be bothering you. The lack of money or the fear of money will do it. The amount you have has nothing to do with it...If the Power that created us has given us enough breath to last for as long as we shall live, can we not trust that everything else we need will also be supplied?"
Just something more to ponder...
What a beautiful encounter! Hattigrace, you're like me, we need to use our imagination and we work in the arts...I feel painting and art is in the same feild as hair style.(I make short films and often work with make up artists and hair stylists...so talented!) and ...
my point is...how do retire from being creative and imaginative? Matisse the painter got such arthritis...but would he stop his passion? No he tied his brush to the end of a long pole so he could still paint, sitting and less strain on his hand. Maybe you could start to design an ergonomic brush...or Tim could for arthritis or handicapped people to brush their hair. hey I'm not saying YOU will suffer from this, but why not give this kind of thinking a go?
I think both you and Tim give me so much inspiration...look at Tim helping you build your jewelry high functioning pretty storage systems? Tim and you are already co-working on engineering and design.
These simple YES SIMPLE challenges and fears and solutions within our lives are exactly what drives inventors and artists. We have to be self motivated and work out puzzles in our lives and since god has created us all connected...to animals nature the ocean, the rivers, and especially to each other...our ideas for our selves are connected to others and help them.
Even if you were rich in money...
artists don't retire...
why would we? We're having too much fun!
much love
Candy
Oh and I meant to say those hairs styles and do's are INCREDIBLE!!! Thanks for posting the photos....!!!!!!
XXXOOO
Love the hairstyles!!
I loved being around people and I had planned on working til I died...but my husband had different plans for me and he asked me to stop working and enjoy some traveling with him. It's been almost 10 years since I quit work and I am enjoying every minute of it. I never see a boring day and I don't know how I ever had time for work.
Mary may have been the answer to your prayers and maybe you want to work all of your life and that's okay, if that's what you really want. That's what I thought I wanted too.
What a touching post.
It reminds me a little of Fried Green Tomatoes. When Jessica Tandy hand's down advice to Kathy Bates.
Then there's TT's comment....He has such a way with words, I won't even try to match them. I'll just say "I agree".
What a wonderful story - just what I needed to read on a Monday morning...
4th July: Happy Independence Day!
Hey Hattigrace, this is really touching! I like the way you discern things and apply the wisdom to your life.
Knock and it shall be opened! Seek and you shall find!
Wisdom juxtaposed with the beautiful hairsytle creation ... Priceless!
Very cool hair styles! Retiring's only fun for lazy sods like me. Having the money to do it is all. Doing it is just an option. Keep styling HG n I'll let yer do me mohawk when we're over next summer!
love the hair. that must have taken some time. it would be cool to know an 87-year old lady who could come up with fantastic do's like those. you'd be one hip granny.
Hi ya You are commetn #14 on the experiment of "20 comments Wednesdays"
Hope you are doing well and happy and having fun today. Wish I was in your pool, its hot up here in toronto!
If you are an artist - and your hair styles illustrate your creativity - you could never stagnate and do nothing. I have been 'retired' for a couple of decades but feel at my most creative now. Remember 86 is the new 60!
Wow, there is that struggle once we hit 50 and realize - hey - youth don't last forever. Thank God Beauty do! :)
Here I am in Wyo torturing myself for "retirement" - and who knows what life will bring. I relate to your angst re: retirement. Maybe we never will. Neither of us will ever retire from creating I'm sure.
Anyway, thank God - though we ache & hurt here & there that we are on our feet and ABLE.
The hair photos are spectacular. I need you again - ah, I will have to settle for what I can get. Well, maybe Christmas...........
Hi!
cool, Have a nice day,
liked reading through it
zingtrial
http://zingtrial.wordpress.com
You are so right! People like us need to work...or at least be busy...I don't know if I want to work full time forever but I don't really ever see myself not involved in something...I'm so glad you have come to peace over this...being busy, interacting with people, it keeps us young after all...Your hair creations are exquisite!
What a lovely story to inspire us all!
Ooh, gorgeous hairstyles. I have a friend who should be getting married in Pensacola--we hope in a year--and I'll definitely be sending her your way.
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