Sad

I lost my mother in 2000. October 5, 2000. I wanted everyone to remember that date. To call me and commiserate. They did not. I learned that people just don't remember what does not hurt them personally.

I have never really gotten over losing her. I don't cry often. But my heart aches for her. I want to hear her voice. Part of my solice was my mother in law.

Bebop. Mother of twelve. Grandmother of sixty. YES, sixty. I lost count how many regular granchildren and how many great grandchildren. Does it really matter?

More, what matters is they all want to be with her. If they drive home from college, she is on the top five most important stops.

She prays. She laughs. She cooks. She bakes. She tells cute jokes. She listens. She listens. And she loves, loves, loves, loves all her family. She has been our matriarch, our rock, our gatherer, our joy, our strength.

We just found out the severe pain that has reduced her to tears for three months is cancer in her spine. The doctors give her six months. She is 81 1/2. Otherwise so healthy.

She walks, takes vitamins, eats healthy, gets her rest, works, loves and gives. She prays, plays and is totally amazing. WHY WHY WHY????????

It is sad, sad, so very sad news we all face. She has taught me so much. Like the most important thing in life is having babies and LOVING them. Being present in the moment, being WITH them.

Because of her, I have seven godchildren. I would have stopped at one (Ally), if it had not been for her. But she showed me that a woman can deeply love many children. So, I have seven-

Ally, 14

Billy, 10

Debbie, 7

Abigail, 6

Isabella, 4

Laura Sophia, 3

Nicholas, 5 months

And, I have two grand children, Sheraya, nearly 14 and Lana, 8. I await children from my daughter Eliana. And I don't know what technical relationship I will have with Benjamin, the son of my assistant and dear friend.

I pray that who Bebop is will morph through me so that all these children will know a love that will bolster them through all the hours of their lives.

I LOVE YOU BEBOP, Elizabetta, Grande Dame of La Bella Leonessi.

Color Dilema

Dot told me my color was faded out and I needed some depth. First photo on left.

I agreed. So I did my color. In a hurry, as usual. I don't quite get why I won't ask for help. The center photo is after I applied a root formula, an ends formula and had Dot put in some foils that went way too light, so then I did a golden glaze over the whole "mess". Actually, in the center photo, it looks good. That night, at Bonefish with Dot and Hub and TT, I did think I was happening.

However, the next day, as I was out running errands, I saw everyone look at my color and quickly look away. Yeah, it was hideous. Grabby ends with odd tones, way too dark at temples. All that does not show in thephoto taken in the gentle lighting of candles.

We had an event that night, so I tied up those grabby ends and had a martini (or five) and forgot about it.

But yesterday, I had to face it. I returned to the salon and refoiled my hair. Did a little trick called a "soap cap" on the ends and degrabbed them. It's not a good photo, for a couple of reasons. Poor lighting and I was sick. Why? I broke out in hives after I did my color. I had bleach bubbles all over my neck and arms bc I was doing the shampoo myself. (Hint- have a STYLIST do your color!!!) So, in this pic, I am still swollen and pale.

For now, I am reasonably happy with my hair. I realized I am NOT a brunette at heart. Oi.

I am back

I have been gone for a long time.

I got busy. Busy with family, my godchildren, work, and friends. You can't fault me, right?

The mother of my two god-children was reunited with her husband and they had a baby in July. I am so happy to have him in my arms.

In the last year, I began a sorority. Not in the crazy college way, but a sisterhood of likeminded women, from the age of 24 to 64. There are nine of us. We are committed to each other through our committment to the Lord. Bound to loyalty and being a place of safety.

It has been an amazing year. Kept me too busy to be out here. Not because I did not care about any of you, but simply busy.

We have done a lot of work on our house. Now I am starting to love the outside the way I love the inside!

My daughter and I have gone gluten free. Big change. She is an amazing cook. But more, her baked goods are out of this world. And all gluten free. I am encouraging her to begin a baking blog. When she gets it up, I will let you all know about it!

I hope each of you are doing well. I have missed you. Spend a lot of time on FaceBook. But no place like Blogspot.

Love n hugs,

Hattigrace

I completed something!

Dot ran her marathon.

I actually completed a class.

The self-portrait is my final project for Drawing One class at PJC.

She had made mention a couple years ago about how I start ideas/projects/ambitions and then talk myself out of them. I hate it when she is right about my weaknesses and failings. She most likely would not like me to list out hers, either.

I have wanted to draw and paint for years. I started about 18 months ago. I stopped listening to my negative, devilish voices and had an epiphany that if God gives us the desires of our hearts, then I should trust He would supply the talent.

The doors have opened ever since. Art Party Girl has been incredible, opening up her home and sharing her talent over and over. Gardenia has been another patient teacher and encourager. And Dot and TT have been consistant cheerleaders as I have nailed painting after painting up in our gallery/dining room.

Taking Drawing One was a huge step of faith. I had to overcome that fear of walking into a world of strangers - the college scene. I will never forget the first day, trembling inside as I stammered my way into a class of silent 18 and 19 year olds, scurrying around to find a seat and surfing on my CrackBerry to cover my intense insecurity.

I thought Teach was from another planet- one of granola and great art and no use for a preening middle-aged hairstylist. Judge not. Will I ever learn?!

Who would know that slowly Teach and I would begin sharing. First words, then hearts. She and I had more in common than a dozen of my clients put together. She is a deep and caring and intensely talented woman. She did not wield a sword and cut me with the cruel critisizm I feared.

She is honest, but kindly so. Vulnerable with dignity. Giving, with boundaries. The day she asked me to join her in sidewalk art, I was giddy with joy. I could learn so much from her. And she has a great sense of humor.

Okay, back to Dot's assessments of me. I have FINISHED the class!! The only classes I missed were because I was out of town for our family Thanksgiving trip and attending Dot's marathon. I did not wimp out, withdraw, or withhold. I did every assignment and gave it my all. My all was not the top of the chart of the talent of the class, but it was all that I had.

And somehow, miraculously, Teach has offered to mentor me, one-on-one in portraits next semester, in exchange for my hair services! OMG!!!! Can you believe THAT?? The desire of my heart has come true. I am really going to be taught how to paint faces! And the crazy thing is, we are going to paint together in my gallery!!!!

I feel like the brat of all spoiled brats. I get to learn, in my own home, the very thing that I love.

I will let you know my class grade!

Marathon

Dot started when she turned 29 thinking of all the things she said she was gonna do "someday" and decided she wanted "someday" to come before she turned 30.

She began taking French classes at our local Junior College. And she determined she wanted to get into shape.

She began working out at the YMCA daily. She got very bored walking on the treadmill and wondered what it would be like to run. A perky song came on her iPod and she thought she would try to run one song.

One day, several songs in a row inspired running and she looked down to discover for the first time in her life, she had run a full mile!

That was the beginning.

November 30, she completed the Space Coast Marathon at Cocoa Beach, Florida with her father, husband, sister, neices, mama and Isabella all cheering her on.

I am in awe of her accomplishment. And a bit green. (Drat my weakened back !!) She had her share of setbacks. A knee injury. Lots of economic issues. But she kept on. And on.

I worry about her body. I have too many friends that were runners in their youth that have horrible knee and feet problems. I hope she tapers to body-friendly distances.

I can understand why she wanted to complete a marathon. Just like why she wanted to walk on fire. Does a body and soul good to know an overcomer is in there.

costly

A relative of mine just started Frugal and Happy blog . Reading her posts made me think back to when I got my Isabella.

My heart was breaking because I had to give Dot back her cat and TT and I would have no pets to complete our home. Life is too serious without the diversion of pets and children whose daily dailies of feeding, pottying, bathing, playing, teaching and snuggling bring so many moments of silly joy.

I had to take into account our allergies and that TT is not going to take anyone for a run around the neighborhood for exercise! My search for the perfect pet was soon narrowed to Bichons, Poodles or ShihTzus.

I wanted a teeny dog, a little baby that I could easily scoop up without straining my back, a traveling companion. I spent a lot of time on the internet, searching for her.

My friends, who knew I had had several failed relationships with dogs, thought I had lost my mind! I secretly did too! I faced that I had gotten past dogs for the wrong reasons.

Good thing all this started two years ago before the financial world was collapsing! Isabella was crazy expensive. Then she needed the $1000 eye surgery within one month. And there were several expensive follow up appointments.

She was so tiny it was sobering. Remember she weighed only one pound and two ounces the day we brought her home. I looked up to the Lord who had made her and vowed to nurture her and care for her as I never had any other dog. I made her needs mine, instead of the other way around. I wanted to assure her, every moment that she was in a safe place of love.

The result? As I write, she is asleep in my lap. She loves me and TT and is an absolute joy. She understands nearly everything I say to her. Of course, she does not always listen!! She is two years old, so that means she is a forteen year old! Hahaha!!

I would eat beans and crackers so that she would have her food, if neccessary. In other people's minds, I suppose she was a huge waste of money. But, to TT and I, we don't even remember writing the check!

Family

A devoted loving husband,
a daughter that has loved me through it all
and her dear husband.
I am blessed.

God-daughter's birthday

What can I say, I just love them. They are my heart. I can only go about three days without seeing them.

Hmmmmmm

I saw Dot online, reading my blog today. I came home from work and read back a few months.

I go through fits and jerks about writing. I saw again what a record of my life this blog has been. Kind of lets me get my true feelings out there in a non-threatening way.

I have been very concerned for the future of our nation. I think we have extremely turbulent times ahead. Like none my generation has ever seen. My husband said it best, "I feel like a frog in a pot of water that is coming to a boil."

Then the words of my priest come to mind, "Sometimes we have to compromise our expectations so we can get happy with our reality." I have read the end of the Book. We are not without hope or help. This place called Earth is not our final destination. We pass through this part of our journey, to come to Christ and to be carried to Paradise, with Him.

There, we will finally be free of all the guile, lies and hatred that sin and sin's effects have sludged over this world. He will rule, King of Kings, with purity and holiness. We will never wonder if His words are truthful, if He is really looking out for us, if we will be safe and protected.

Many pilgrims have gone before us and suffered loss of dreams and loss of life. But they are with Him, as we will be.

I have stopped the fight. I will pray until the election is over for the Holy Spirit to guide the hearts of everyone who votes to vote for culture of life. But I had to stop hanging on every word in the news and emails. It was sapping my energy.

I still need to work. I need to have cheerful topics of conversation with my clients. I need to seek the joy of each day.

I started walking 3.3 miles (in 50 minutes) outside about four to five days a week. It is helping to whittle my middle!! And it gives me a lot of energy.

I am loving my Drawing One class and will be taking a painting class on Saturday mornings. Plus, I am working through the book, "Drawing on the Right Side of Your Brain".

I am having fun planning the holidays with our two girls and two granddaughters. And with the god-children family, there are countless birthdays and other reasons to celebrate!

So, there is a catch up. I will try to be more regular of a blogger!

Hello, my long lost blogger friends!

Vote from your heart

My Assistant

"Stop Hattigrace, I can't take it anymore!! I QUIT!!!!"

I found this this photo of my assistant and decided I had to write a post about her. I haven't a clue why she was hiding her beautiful face from my curious camera, so I just made up that silly caption.

Many years ago, Dot told me my health insurance was having an assistant. When I thought in terms of preserving my health, the weekly paycheck to my assistant became a reasonable business expense.

A is my third assistant. I really did not know how to function with one past heaving glorious sighs of relief over not having to further damage my back shampooing. I am sure I made plenty of detrimental errors with my first two.

A had told me, when she was the salon receptionist, that if she ever attended cosmetology school she would want to assist me. Hmmm, that was a first. After an amazing string of events, there she was, nervously awaiting my first client of the week to shampoo.

Uh, I forgot how LONG it takes new people to shampoo! I count on about five minutes, and she was futzing around for about ten. I hadn't factored that into my schedule! We made it through the first awkward days that became less strained with each week. Though to an outsider her job might appear simple, OMG, it is NOT!

The endless details of information, knowledge, intuitiveness, diplomacy, timing, and skill to effectively assist are staggering. She is a fast and eager learner. She understood my idea of three minutes (two minutes and forty-five seconds)! She rarely sat down, talked on her cell phone or got to work late.

The one area that was the most difficult was her timidity and shyness. I began Assertiveness 101 with her! I never forced her to make any calls she was uncomfortable with. I told her what needed to be said and gave her the option of me doing it instead of her. Courageously, she would take a deep breath and with a white face and shaking hands, make the call.

She discovered that people respond well to direct, honest communication delivered with a sincere desire to serve their needs. I run a tight ship. I am rarely late. If I am, it is very disconcerting to me as I loathe to disrespect people's time. That is what I give and that is what I expect from my clients.

I once complimented a client for her consistent promptness and she said, "It's because we are all afraid of you Hattigrace!!" I'm not mean. I just expect women to keep their commitments. A learned it was okay to tell people that. They appreciate it.

Well, good things can backfire. One day, I asked A if she would split a sandwich with me from one of our favorite lunch providers. "No, I want a whole one", she stated as she walked down the hall. I turned to my client and said, "Did you hear that? A year ago, she would have let me have my way!!!" We joke that I overdid Assertiveness Training!

One of the most fun things we do is talking about our evil twin sisters. Hers is Agatha and mine is Helga. Whenever we are not behaving up to par, we will chide our evil twin for causing us trouble. When our hours are long and we are tired we will look at each other and say, "That's it! We don't like our boss anymore. She works us too hard. WE QUIT!" Our clients will say, "Who is your boss?" and we say, "Helga and Agatha!" We both have found a great release in being able to humorously let off a little steam!

We are both so humungously grateful for being so busy. Our goal is to never say no to anyone and to trust that somehow, by God's great grace, that it will all work out and every body's needs will be met. And usually, it does!

We have been together for three years now. That is unheard of. I never dreamed (I am pinching myself) I would have the pleasure of her company for this long. I know all good things have to come to an end so I live gratefully and don't worry about when she has to move on. God will take care of me and my business.

I love so many things about her. She is honest, true blue and faithful as the day is long. Hardworking, rarely complains, sincere, insightful, non-intrusive, calming, humorous, intuitive, organized, cheerful, ASSERTIVE!, quick-witted, respectful, teachable, loving, empathetic, adaptable, flexible, inventive, kind, tenderhearted. . . She undergirds me with all these virtues. We have a wonderful friendship.

All the above is punctuated with her finest treasure and that is her love for the Lord Jesus Christ. I know she prays for me, for TT, for Dot n hub, for Jade and girls. We have the three-fold cord of friendship, work and faith. And you know those cords are not easily broken. How deeply I have been blessed.

I love you A.

Waiting for Gustav

God-son's birthday was this weekend. He had three celebrations. Family dinner Wednesday night. Friend and family party at our house 3:00 Saturday. And church friends today at lunch.

It is a restless, tenative time waiting for hurricanes, even though not in the direct path. We know rough weather is ahead. All the churning highs and lows and rain and wind can be full of surprises. Look at Fay. She was very unpredictable.

TT and I have gassed up, bought bottled water, canned food, citronella and wicks for our torches (in case we lose power and have a lot of porch time!)batteries and the lot. Our house is clean, clothes laundered. Oooooh, I just remembered I need to bathe Isabella! We are READY! Because Gustav is not thundering to our doorstep directly, we don't need to board up.

What to do while we wait? God-childrens auntee, S, called and said, "Hub, daughter and I are going to the beach. Meet us there!" It was so much fun. God-children and their parents came, too. We had lovely family time skipping ahead of the tide in the balmy wind.

Gustav seems to have calmed a bit. At least he is not the raging 150 mph beast that he was on Saturday. May God answer the millions of prayers for mercy and continue to calm him to a puff of smoke by the time he reaches land in the morning.

My heart extends to New Orleans and all those temporarily displaced by his threats.

Twenty-Fourth Anniversery

After Dot's big birthday bash, TT n I simply had a fabby dinner out at Bonefish to celebrate our 24th Anniversery.

I texted our girls, "24 yrs ago rt now, we were all getting ready 2 walk down the isle 2gether. Thankful 4 th grace of God 2 hold, 2 keep n 2 heal. We love u so."

One responded, "Now don't go making me cry! That's not fair! (143)" and the other, "LOL! U guys r just as sweet as the day u me!"

We are so happy. We have each other. We have our Lord Jesus and are at home in the Catholic Church. We have our two beloved daughters, one wonderful son-in-law and two precious granddaughters. We have our god children and their entire family as close friends. We have rekindled fellowship with DayBreak and Gee. I have my art. We have dear Isabella. And we both have our siblings/families. I have a fabulous career that nurtures my soul and provides our needs. We are at peace with each other. There was a lot to celebrate on Monday nite, August 18!!

(And my hair is g*r*o*w*i*n*g longer!!!)

So TT had the filet, I had the BangBang Shrimp and four martinis!!

!!!C*E*L*E*B*R*A*T*E!!!

Dot's Three Ohhh Birthday!

At 12:02 a.m. August 8, 2008, I get a text from Dot.

"Dang, 30 feels wierd. . ."

She really was not 30 yet, because she was born 12:29 a.m. We talked until she was 30 and 15 minutes. That meant a lot to me to get to share that milestone moment with her. Hmmm, it really feels wierd that my baby is 30. Eeeeek!

We began her party Friday with a surprise lunch! Jade flew in earlier than Dot knew and Assistant and Friend took off from work. It was relaxing and fun, just the five of us, nibbling, sipping and giggling!

Saturday, Jade and I went into work mode, cranking out the requested food items, picking up flowers and doing the million other things on our list. We work well together. Assistant and Friend prepared other parts of the night's menu, brought ice and beverage parts. Though a lot of work in all, it really came together peacefully.

I did Jade's hair with a wave iron. Turned out gorgeous! I had braided Dot's hair the night before her birthday, so it had two days to dry into her lovely waves. Those two styles were as close as we were willing to get to the scrunched perms of the Eighties!

My tribute to that decade was the banana clip I found on Ebay and my very heavy blush! Funny.

Dot arrived on the back of Hubby's motorcycle in one short, hot litttle black dress! She would later take me in the back and safety pin mine about six inches shorter!

We had a wall of her childhood photos and an 80's memorabilia book, 80's music and a slap bracelet from Assistant to help us all time travel!

Son-in-Law masterminded an art station with acrylic paints and a huge canvas so we could all literally leave a handprint for her birthday. It turned into quite a piece of abstract art. He also installed the disco ball and other fabulous lighting.

The best part of the weekend was being together as family and close friends, celebrating the grace of God in life and in His restoring love.

PS The parents of my god-children are in the process of reconciling. It is a beautiful thing. He is a godly man who is going through a beautiful reformation. God pours out His grace on the humble. What people miss in thinking they don't need Him and are so good on their own. Seeing them happily together was the exclamation point on the night.

Hattigrace's Art

Vacation

We had a fabulous family time. The Fourth of July party was a rip-roaring success. We drove to Lakeland to attend the Florida Outpouring Revival with almost the whole family. I got to paint a little bit with DayBreak.

It really worked for me to fly there. My back was a lot happier for not being in the car a total of sixteen hours.

What did you all do for the Fourth?

July 4th

We are heading out tomorrow with Dot, dog and a sad heart because Dot's husband cannot come with us to Orlando to stay with Jade n visit with Daybreak.

I am full of expectancy that God has a plan for this trip, bigger than we can know. I am so grateful for how He has healed our family.

Big news. . . my friend and I have had two really great talks and I feel we are well on our way into a new road in our journey. So glad, cause I always loved her.

Have a Happy Fourth, y'all!!

Eternity

The true power behind love.

The Ramp Hamilton Alabama - Drama Vida Extrema Podcast

Exhilarating.

The Lord's Generation

DayBreak, Jade and I are going through something awesome together. "If one can put a thousand to flight, two can put ten thousand to flight and a triple braided cord is not easily broken." Our prayer cord is producing a fire in each of our hearts for the Lord. . .