ex

Excite. Exaggerate. Exasperate. Exit. Ex.

I have many Ex's in my life. One Ex husband. Three Ex son-in-laws. No Ex-friends that I know of anyway.

Relationships. We never enter them really anticipating an Ex. When my step-daughter married, I loved her new husband. He did not love me. But then, he hated his mother. He did not trust any woman. He eroded every relationship he had with his cynical distrust. So why was I surprised when he did not like or trust me? And eventually, he sabotaged his marriage to the point of divorce.

I married at nineteen. I married the first man who gave me positive attention. He had a lot of wonderful qualities. Fidelity was not one of them. Neither was providing. He loved to drink, gamble and womanize. So, nine years later, and one wonderful daughter later, we divorced.

I can still appreciate his strengths. He loved the underdog. He knew how to draw a good map. I never got lost when he gave me directions. He was cheerful and kind. Just couldn't be loyal.

I married soon after the divorce. My new husband loved the daughter from my first marriage. And he gave great directions, too. He is cheerful and kind and loyal beyond belief. We are still married, twenty-one years later. Has it been easy? No. Has it been worth it? A million times over, yes.

My daughter married twice. The first one, my second Ex son-in-law was kind, cheerful, but couldn't find it in himself to work. He loved to spend money, any one's but his. Why is it some men are allergic to work? I don't get it. Nothing ever came easy or free to me. How do you get ahead if you don't work? Well, he didn't. He lost a gem.

My third Ex son-in-law was way more complicated. I didn't trust him from the start. He had that look in his eyes, dark eyes. I felt he would devour my dear, trusting daughter. He did . He was all about him. Controlling. It was his way or no way. Every conversation became a debate. He had to win. He wore me out. I asked the wrong question of her. I kept saying, "Can you live with this for the rest of your life?" Why didn't I ask, "WHY would you WANT to live with this the rest of your life?"

I will kick myself forever for that.

But, still, by the grace of God, I learned to love him. Overlook his faults. See his strengths. Because I loved her, I wanted to really love who she loved.

Ex. Exit.

So, now I wait for the fourth son-in-law. What am I looking for? A man who will love her inside out. One who can adore her strengths and nurture her weak places. One who will provide for her, financially, spiritually, emotionally.

Okay, let's get down to brass tacks. I want grandbabies. I did not have enough children. I love babies. I love family. What is Christmas without squealing giggles from happy children opening offerings from Santa? Plus, I want my daughter to have the pleasure I experienced from her.

Ex. Excitement of new life. Exhilaration of familial love. Exit from pain.