fury

I am making poor choices today. I know what I need to do. Haven't done it.

Need to get out of my jammies and go for my walk, shower and get out to Country Estate and help my husband on his list of forty-something to-dos.

What am I doing? Sitting in my fury. We are getting so messed with by the insurance company for Hurricane Denise damage to Country Estate. We have spent a small fortune getting trash hauled off, the roof repaired, paint, insurance. . . not to mention the attorney's fees for the foreclosure.

The insurance check was originally made out to our negligent purchasers AND to us as lienholder. We had her signature, but the bad boyfriend who skipped out never signed. So, we had a worthless promisory note.

Of course, I stayed in touch with the insurance Company. We were assured once the title was back in our name, they would reissue the check to us. Ha. Every call is a new promise and and new hoop to jump through. We have been lied to, placated, put off and held up.

The Christian part of me says to forgive. So, I don't hold the person I spoke with guilty of treason.

But the Company? I am sure some Draculous Devil with blood dripping talons, sweaty stinky armpits, beady eyes and snarling lips is sitting at the helm, gloating and glimmering over squashing the hopes of little pitiful clients like me. We must be the h'orderve of the day for him. I hope my case is the turkey bone splinter that chokes the Devilish Dog.

I have not been so mad in years. I actually could not speak when I got off the phone from their latest put offs yesterday. I wanted to explode with a million curse words. But, what would that accomplish? Lower myself and then I would have to crawl to the Throne of Grace for forgiveness for acting like trailer trash. I was going to call my husband, but why incite him to riot when he is working so hard to repair all the damage?

So, I swallowed hard, finished my last two clients in stony silence. Drove home and opened a bottle of red. Three glasses in, I wasn't mad any more.

But today's lethargy tells me the fury is still smoldering.