We all use them. We do the unmentionable in them. It is the great equalizer of life. We hear the saying, "We all put our pants on, one leg at a time." That is meant to help us not feel intimidated by the wealthy and powerful in our midst.
There are other more crass sayings about us humans and the base needs we share. That I will save for another post!
The other day, I was trying to exit the ladies room when BAMMMMMM, my opening door slammed into something. It was dark and I couldn't get OUT. Turns out, some man was trying to get in, but opened the adjacent airconditioning closet door into the ladies room door. Our doors had locked together. "*%$#", I scolded under my breath, or so I hoped.
Okay, who goes you-know-what in the airconditioning closet?? He said, "Sorry, I guess I kinda scared you."
Duh.
After he left, I had to run back to the little room for some TP because one of my clients started crying. No, it wasn't because I had given her a bad hairdo. Her husband had lost his job and they were starting to lose their worldly possessions. I had no facial tissues, so was trying to dry her sobs with toilette tissue.
The dim-bob that tried the airconditioning closet had left the light ON and the seat UP on the toilette. Why? Why do men do that? Do they really want us women to just fall into the septic seating? Or are they that forgetful that they cannot remember the good manners to return the room how they found it?
I think the cure is to go to Europe. How we eliminate is so out of step with our Maker's plan. Like, in the Garden of Eden, were there really porcelain potties and bodacious bidets? Heck no. Much better than today's methods, our forefathers and mothers simply squatted. Gravity did it's quick work and one oak leaf wipe and they were on their way to graze the next grape.
Paris hasn't forgotten the Garden. Yes, they added lovely tile and toilette tissue. But, (ha!) forget privacy!
They sure dealt with the seat issue. One and all the same.
Hmmm, maybe the airconditioning closet isn't such a bad idea!
February 27, 2006
toilette
at 7:34 PM
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8 comments:
Ha, what a unique subject! Brave, honest girl! Yes, isn't it a shock to go into a European restroom and find a guy standing there handing you a towel or whatever. It is kinda disorienting. I only have one question: What do old ladies with bad knees do in those kinds of potties? I worked out in a gym for 3 months before Albania just so I get get up off the dang squatty potty! Did not want to have to call for help!
oh, dear, your post reminded me of an intimate secret a friend told me - she had an Aussie boyfriend for a while, and she told me that his mother taught him the polite thing to do was to pee on his knees. For some time my ditsy brain only registered what an aim he must be to pee on his knee and that pee would bounce into the toilet. I did silently think it a bit kinky. Boy did my friend get a laugh when I finally figured out that she meant that he kneeled to pee to keep the toilet clean. Still, the poor bloke's mother must have been sort of like "Mommy Dearest."
Dangerous places toilets...when I was a kid I fell asleep on one in a punk club...woke up, club's locked down for the night. I was found the next morning face down behind the bar hugging an empty bottle of vodka with my trousers round my knees.....happy memories...(bring your porch over anytime)...good blog HG...'fraid my hair's beyond help..
OMGosh! How funny! Did you see the one about the toliet built on a busy street corner in London. It is basically a 2-way mirror.(passersby supposedly can't see in) You can watch the world go by as you go....
Ps. my hubby travels in eastern Europe often and has taken to carrying bacterial wipes and tissue with him wherever he goes...over here too. :) I think he has seen (maybe not tried) them all...lol
jada.. that pix been goin around a while 1st it was sweden then a buncha other countries but it is fun.
eh bien, où est-elle la toilette, madamn
Oh hell no! LOL...no way will I ever squat! With my luck, I'd probably get shit all over my pants! But you do bring up an interesting point. Why do men always leave the toliet seat up (BTW, why do you spell it toilette? Isnt that French for perfume?)? I know, I've caught myself leaving it up a couple times, and I dont know why. It's probably cuz' men gotta stand and aim, and having a wider space to piss in, is easier than to grab hold of the gun and aim towards the hole, if you know what I'm sayin'! I remember a long time ago, in my first neighborhood, there was this lady who taught her sons to pee with the seat down by gluing the seat down. I can't remember how she did it, but her toliet looked like one big bowl, with no lid. It was weird, but it worked!
I have had the worst day. Had an offer on Country Estate that I thought was too low, so we countered and they said no. Insurance company lying to insurance commissioner, so no money from that. My back is screaming at me in pain.
To come home to these humorous posts is the first good laugh I have had all day.
Thanks you all, you were the happy spot in my day.
Aim for the center!!
Hillarious ! Thats how an Indian toilette looks like Hattigrace, As Diana says its difficult for old people. Now in the trains out of four in each coach three are Indian style, which is just a hole in the floor, (you get good air hitting the bottom in a speeding train) they have introduced one western toilet. Easy for the old
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